One Weekend - Grown Ups

Funeral Service Chapter 2

" Come on Maxi. " Dad smiles at me as we hop out of dad's nice, red car. I straighten my dress and pull at my fingers nervously as we walk towards some men. Oh, I know one of these guys. That's Kurt, dad's friend. I'm not sure who the other dude is. There's Charlotte, Deanne, and Andre. Who are those other boys? And that little girl? 

As we get closer, I hear the man talk to his son. " Whoa whoa. Didn't I tell you to turn the phone off Greg? " A man says 

" What? But it's my massage therapist. ' 

This boy has a massage therapist? Man, how much money this guys have? 

" No phones. Turn it off.  " 

" Wait, no cell phones, then I'm outta here. " 

" Higgy! " The man says happily as he turns to us. 

" Who's ready to get their funeral on? " Dad asks dancing a bit. He points to himself and smiles. I blush and hide a bit behind my dad. I grab onto his shirt. Dad smiles at his friends and glances back at me for a moment. He grabs my hand and wraps an arm around my shoulder. " I'm sorry. Death makes me weird. " He glances at me. " Everyone, this is Maxon, my daughter. Maxi, this is everyone. " He walks over to Kurt after letting go of me. " What's up McKenzie? You got those soft hands. Still using Palmolive? " He chuckles and walks over to the other man. " Hey Lenny. Buddy, I thought you were gonna start working out. " 

" What does that mean? " 

" Um, You're fat. " My dad says in a joking matter. 

" No. " Lenny chuckles. " Hey guys, this is good news. I always wanted to represent you. You're the third Olsen twin? " 

Dad laughs. " Keep it down. " He looks past Lenny at the boys and the little girl. " Hey, so these are your kids? And who's that girl? That's not a nanny is it? " 

Lenny clears his throat. " No, no. This is a friend of ours from China. " 

" Oh yeah. No, I've been on that website. " What does dad mean? 

" Daddy, what do you mean? " I ask looking up at my weird father. 

He looks down at me. " Oh, Um, nothing. Nothing. Why don't you go talk to Lenny's kids? Hang out with Andre and Charlotte while I talk to the boys? " 

I shrug and slowly walk over to Charlotte and Andre. A man in a nice car, a Caddy, pulls up. He talks with the guys before he drives off after his family gets out. 

Another man walks towards the group of men and I feel someone hug me. I jump a bit in surprise. " Maxi!! " Charlotte squeals. " Hey girl! It's been a while. I've missed you. How've you been? " 

" Um, good. " I smile a bit as she releases me from her tight grip. " We saw each other last month. " 

" Yeah, I know. But, I've got a lot to catch up with you about. Come meet Lenny's kids! " Charlotte drags me towards Lenny's children. " Max, this is Greg, Kiethie, and Becky. Guys, this is Maxon. " 

" Hi. " I say softly and shyly as I look at the kids. 

" Hello! " Becky smiles widely. 

" Hey. " Kiethie waves a bit. 

" Sup. " Greg says, glancing up from his phone a bit. 

" And this is Roxanne, Lenny's wife and their mother. " Charlotte points to a woman who's walking towards Lenny. 

An older woman walks towards Lenny and Roxanne as they talk. I walk over to dad and Kurt. They smile at me. " Have you met all the kids? " Dad asks. 

" Yeah. " I nod as I turn to face the other adults. The shorter man of the group and the older woman start trying to lick each other's tongues. It's nasty. 

" Whoa! " Dad grabs me and covers my eyes with his hands. " That's grody. " 

We all head inside and I take a seat a few rows behind the Feder's. They start talking about the lake house they rented and money. Dad scoots into the pew behind them. " Yeah, " He chuckles. " It's you money, his money, my money. Let's put all our cash in a pile and split it. " Dad chuckles. " Hey, that's a nice hat. it really brings out the death in the room. " I blush and shrink down in my seat. " Sorry, it's a funeral. I get weird. " 

Dad moves back to the pew next to me and we  turn to face the front as the pastor starts talking. 

I pay attention as the pastor calls Lenny up to talk in front of everyone. I laugh a bit at a funny part and dad glances at me. I look at the picture of Coach Buzzer. I met him like once before. I was little then. I don't remember much of him. I think he was nice and funny though. 

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I cock my head to the side as I look at Robbie, who's singing up. He's been up there for like an hour.  Dad tries to keep from laughing. Dad's friends laugh a bit and the pastor looks as if he wants the earth to swallow him up. 

How does Robbie have the lung capacity for this?

I see Greg glance back at me, at least I think it was me, and then quickly turn forward. There are like a million other people here. He could be looking at anyone. Probably not me. 

Lenny leans forward and whispers something to Kurt while he tries not to laugh. 

Robbie grabs Coach Buzzers picture and carries it around before looking at a statue while singing. Eric laughs and soon everyone's laughing. Well, everyone meaning the guys dad's friends with.  

Kurt hands Lenny some money and they laugh. Dad makes a buzzer sound and I laugh a bit. I shrink down as some people look at dad. I blush and dad laughs. 

" Grow up will ya?! " Robbie asks looking up from the ground. He's on his knees. 

" Oh look at him now. Don't get so mad there Robbie. " Lenny smiles as Robbie sits down in the front pew next to his wife, the older woman. 

I thought she was his mother until they started doing that weird tongue thingy. Nasty. 

We sit for a little while longer until the service is over.