One Weekend - Grown Ups

Dead man Chapter 17

" Ahh! " I look up from the steps as dad runs towards me. Robbie's chasing after dad with a...board game? What? " Move Maxon! " Dad yells as he gets closer. 

I jump up and hurry farther onto the deck. Dad grabs a bunch of floaties and throws them at Robbie. Robbie growls and I back away from the angry man. 

" Leave me alone! Drink your maize! " 

" I thought you were my friend! " Robbie yells. 

What is going on? 

Dad climbs onto the fence and holds onto the flag pole next to him. 

" You're gonna pay this time! " Robbie pushes the floaties away. He climbs up the steps and dad yells as he looks into the water.

" Bad turtles! " Oh no. Dad hates turtles. 

" You evil pig! " Robbie hits dad's legs with the game board. 

" Robbie! Wait! " Lenny yells as he comes to dad's rescue. 

" He's a psycho!!! " Dad yells. 

" Stop! Stop! " Eric yells as he and Lenny grab Robbie and pull him back. " Hey! Break it up man. Jeez, guys. " Eric gets in between dad and Robbie. 

" Alright! " Robbie yells. 

" Calm down. " Dad looks really confused. " Buddy. Buddy! What's the problem? " 

Everyone hurries out of the house. The ladies come onto this little area and the kids stay on the porch. 

Robbie kicks dad in the private part and I jump. Oh no. Robbie's got to be really angry. Usually he isn't so mean and he really calm. What did dad do? 

Dad yells out and grabs his private part. He falls to the ground and Robbie yells out. 

" Oh yeah. Arrow foot. " Kurt says while putting his hand to his mouth. Robbie grabs his foot in agony. 

" How could you do that? " Robbie asks while looking at dad. " That's my daughter! " What does he mean? What did dad do? 

" Do what? " 

" You know what! " Robbie glances at me before going into details. 

" Oh. You think I would do that to you? " Dad asks. 

" Out of any one of us, you'd be the one to do that. " Lenny says looking at all the guys. Boy, dad has an interesting reputation. 

I tune out of their conversation and look at Jasmine as she walks up. Amber and Bridget aren't very far behind. " Me and him? " Jasmine asks. " Okay, maybe I flirted with him, but that was just to get your attention. " 

" Well what about his snoring? " 

" I heard it too. " Amber walks up and turns to her dad. Lenny makes a buzzing answer like she said the wrong thing. 

Robbie's anger resurfaces and he kicks dad in the privates again. That was the wrong answer. Robbie grabs his hurt foot again and hisses. He's really got to remember which foot got the arrow in it. 

" Oh no Twice? And in front of my daughter? " Dad asks as he doubles over. 

" We heard it from three rooms away. " Bridget says as she walks over to her sisters. 

" He's off the hook. You know Marcus. He wouldn't be with your daughter. " Robbie looks at Lenny. " I mean, not that she's...You know what I'm saying. " Wow. You're making this worse for your self Lenny. 

" Well what happened to your head? " Robbie gestures to Jasmine. 

" When I was changing into my PJ's, I got the feeling someone was watching me. I went to close the blinds and I tripped and hit my head. 

I see Greg and Andre duck down a bit. I guess we know who that ' someone ' is. Well, it's actually two someone's. Jealousy pangs my heart. Ugh!

" Dude, that's your daughter. I would never do that to you. Plus, I have my own. I know how you feel. I would want to kill anyone who looks at her. " 

What? No one's gonna look at me. I'm not that pretty. No one has a crush on me. 

I shake off the feeling of eyes and look at everyone. 

" And, Jasmine'd never be with me because I'm me. " What's so wrong about dad being himself? I mean, he's really embarrassing at times, but he's still a good guy. He has a bit of a drinking problem though. " Look, sorry I don't have my whole life together like Lenny. " 

Uh, I think his wife has something different to say. She looks angry. " Oh? Together like Lenny. " She puts her hands on her hips. " Please. " She smiles angrily. " I answered your phone, hipocrita. " I know what that means. Hipocrite. Thank goodness for Ms Gonzalez who's always yelling at her boyfriends in spanish. You kind of pick up on it. " It was your assistant. I asked him if he canceled the flight to Milan, and he said he did. " Roxanne gets really angry. " Before we came here! "

" He said that? Why would he say that? I mean.." 

" So he just made that up huh? " 

" I'm not saying he made it up. I'm think...In his head he believes it's true. " 

I turn away from the conversation and walk over to the edge. I should probably let them work out their problems. 

Mama yells about men lying and Kurt. She tells Deanne she should've married some dude named Umberto Denunzio, whoever that is. 

I walk towards dad and he wraps his arms around my shoulders. " Hey kid. " 

" Hi daddy. Are you okay? " 

" Yeah. I'm fine. " 

We end up hugging after Gloria says something about us all having a lot of love here after saying somethings about Robbie. Filipino Fonzie. Elder gay Jonas brother. Man, those are funny. 

This morning has been quite the party.