Part56

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"Hasta rehta huh,
Tujhse milkar
Kyun aajkal"

Everything seemed to be falling apart.

I knew our happiness was not going to last long.
I know it was going to get jinxed.

Damn.
Fuck.

No.

Please God,
Please don't do this.

"Badle badle hai mere tevar
Kyun aajkal"

"Aa gye aap Manik" Nandini said hugging as I came back from office.

But the truth was that I came back from hospital.

"Khana lagau?!" She asked.

"Nahi"

"Kyun"

"Bolana nai Nandini" I shouted.

Dammit.

"Fine,
Sorry" Nandini said and went towards the kitchen.

Kaka's son was here was what I noticed and he stopped Nandini as she was entering the kitchen.

Both of them were laughing.

"Aakhen meri har jagah,
Dhunde tujhe bewajah"

Nandini and kids.
One sight I can watch for years without getting bored.

Why God,
Why?

Why her.

"Yeh mein huh ya,
Koi aur hai,
Meri tarah"

Nandini gave him a chocolate and he laughed and went to our garden jumping and shouting.

Nandini looked at him with a smile on her face and then kept her hand on her stomach looking at it as if looking at the tiny human inside.

"Kaise huaa,
Kaise huaa,
Tu itna zaroori,
Kaise huaa"

I couldn't control myself anymore and ran and hugged her.
She hugged me back being surprised.

I could feel tears forming in my eyes.

"Kaise huaa,
Kaise huaa,
Tu itna zaroori,
Kaise huaa"

I wiped them not wanting her to know anything.

Feelings are weird shit.

Suddenly Nandini broke the hug and went towards the garden to which I realised that it was raining.

Her favourite rains.

She went in the middle of the garden and stood spreading her arms.

"Mein baarish ki boli samajhta nahi tha,
Hawaon se mein yun ulajta nahi tha"

I walked towards her not stopping my tears this time.
She wouldn't know if it's rain or tears.

"Hai seene mein dil bhi,
Kahan thi mujhe yeh khbr"

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

"Kahin pe ho raate,
Kahin pe savere"

I walked more closer to Nandini as she took some water in her hand and threw it on my face and laughed her heart out.

I smiled through my tears.

"Ye awargi hi,
Rahi saath mere"

Even in the midst of gut wrenching struggles,Heartbreaking pains and mind numbing challenges life throws at us,
Her smile makes it all worth.

"Theher ja theher ja,
Yeh kehti hai teri nazar,
Kya haal ho gaya hai yeh mera"

____________________________

We were at the dinner table.
I needed to be Normal.
I know but I just couldn't knowing everything I knew.

"You read Cabir's message in our group manik,
Apparently he and navya had a fight so to manaofy her he sent a picture as an indirect sorry you know and it's so sweet" She said and showed what it was.

My heart got heavy again.
Every painful thing was relatable right now.
I was heartbroken,again.

I looked at Nandini busy in her phone typing a message with a smile on her face.

"Aakhe meri,
Har jagah
Dhunde tujhe bewajah"

I looked at her and fell for her all over again.
Hard times make you realize how truly you love someone.

Dammit.
Dammit.
Dammit.

Why does life has to get so hard.

"Come on baby,
Say goodnight to daddy" Nandini said getting up as we were done with dinner.

She looked at her stomach as if someone was actually going to say goodnight from in there.

Broke my heart,
Even more,
Into tiny pieces.

"I love you" I said hugging her as tight as I could.

For this might be the last day I was ever going to see this Nandini of mine.

From tomorrow,
Everything was going to be changed.

"Kaise huaa,
Kaise huaa,
Tu itna zaroori kaise huaa"

"Manik are you okay" She asked as we broke the hug.

"Yaa, absolutely" I said with a smile on my face.

"Btw, doctor's report..
Tomorrow na?" She asked.

One thing I was trying to avoid the entire time.
I just smiled a little and nodded.

If only she knew that I already had the report.
And it would have been so simple if reports said that she wasn't pregnant.

But alas.
Life ain't that easy.

I looked at her go upstairs as I was going to work in the study that's what I told her.

It's been a tough day,
And an even tougher life awaits me.

But as Cabir's message said-"All relationships go through hell,
Real ones get through it"

Love is..
Sometimes,
Tough.

_________________________________


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