Habits

Really Living

Sweeney and Nellie sat across from each other in silence.  This being Nellie's first date she didn't have any idea what to say.  Sweeney also felt rather uncomfortable as he thought of any topic to bring up but his mind was blank.

"So love," Nellie said, breaking the silence, "how ya shapin' up?"

He looked up at her wrinkling his eyebrows in confusion.

"Neva mind dear."

He looked back down at his plate.

"Nellie?" He all but whispered lifting his head and looking her in the eyes.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry,"

Nellie was confused, what was he sorry for?  If anyone was to be sorry it should be her.  She hadn't stopped things after he killed the judge, and she had caused his life to fall apart.

"For what love?"

"Everything, I've hurt you in more ways than imaginable.  I was so caught up in my anger I ignored the one person who was trying to help me.  When I woke up the day after Turpin died I realized my feelings for you and hated myself.  I though loving another woman would be the death of me and it almost was.  Yet through all that you continued to help me and I... I continued to push you away.  I figured if I hurt myself Lucy would forgive me, if I died I would be forgiven.  I never paid attention to what could happen I've always focused on the past.  For all my life I thought Lucy was the only woman I would ever love, but now I realize I've been looking at someone I love more than life."

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Looking to his left his vision slightly blurred by the pouring rain he saw Nellie shivering, her soaking shawl wrapped tightly around her shoulders.  Seeing her so obviously cold Todd removed his coat and placed it around her shoulders.  Eleanore looked are him, surprised by the sudden warmth on her back.  His thin white shirt was already soaked and she could see his pale skin through the material.  She placed her hand on his shoulder and he stopped turning towards her.

"Thank you," Nellie whispered.

Todd gulped awkwardly giving her a slight nod.  God he was so attractive!  His eyes bored into Nellie's and he moved forward until his chest touched hers.  Staring at her Sweeney closed the distance between them with a soft, sweet kiss that Nellie leaned into.  The rain poured down on the two standing in the middle of the road.

Nellie melted into his warm lips that were pressed against her own.  This was what she had wanted for years, a real kiss, one that meant something.  Sweeney suddenly broke away awkwardly, his face flushed as he turned back to the road.  The Nellie's pleasure he slid his arm around her waist as they continued to walk but he didn't look back at her.  He just stared forward, cheeks red from either embarrassment or the cold Nellie wasn't sure which... But whatever it was didn't stop her from smiling and laying her head on the barbers shoulder, and though she didn't see it, Sweeney had braved a small smile as well.

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Sweeney's eyes flew open, Nellie shifting beside him.  Shit! He thought, hoping nothing had happened last night.  Sure her loved the baker but he wasn't ready to sleep with her... again.  He couldn't remember last night, he must've drank too much which worried him.  He pulled the sheets down to notice he was fully clothed and Nellie was in a nightdress.  He sighed in relief only then did everything come flooding back.  He remembered the kiss they had shared last night in the rain and the long walk back to his shop.

Nellie had been tired and cold so he'd allowed her to stay with him for the night.  But nothing had happened.  Sweeney sat up in the bed to get changed causing Nellie to stir.  Her eyes opened to see Sweeney removing his shirt to change.  His back was covered in scars she had never seen before, some faded but most were deep.  Nellie gasped slightly seeing them which caused Sweeney to turn around.

"What'd they do to ya all those years?"

Todd tensed knowing what she was referring to.  He grabbed a shirt and pulled it on covering his scars.

"They were cruel just like all men.  They acted as if I were the vermin when really they were." Nellie noticed his hand grab his razor and flick it open threateningly his eyes filling with anger.  "They beat all people there, even the fucking children, I witnessed young boys get beat to death, I've seen women killed, innocent people tortured.  And yet not once did anyone care, give a shit about all the normal, innocent people being murdered.  No one stopped."

He was looked right at her now his eyes clouded over with sadness and the anger he had felt just seconds before hidden.  He turned and sat at the foot of the bed, his eyes angled at the wall.  Nellie crawled over to him and he tensed feeling her dainty hands beginning to massage his shoulders before relaxing at her touch.  It felt good to finally have someone who loved him again.  His mind was trying to push away the memories that clouded his vision.  He turned again to Eleanore who looked into his deep, saddened eyes.

"They didn't deserve it Eleanore..." He choked out.

She immediately brought his lips to her to show him her love.  He began to kiss her back knowing it wasn't going to go well but wanting love so badly.  Moving his lips down her neck he heard Nellie's soft moan of pleasure, and began to feel aroused himself.  It had been to long since he'd felt love towards someone.  He pushed Nellie onto her back sitting between her legs and pulling off the shirt he had finished buttoning not even a minute ago.  As he thread his fingers into Nellie's hand and looked down at her she saw love in his eyes for the first time.  Sweeney dipped his head to kiss the baker again, their tongues fought for dominance and Sweeney began to feel the lust building inside him.  Breaking away to regain her breathing Nellie smiled at Sweeney who's eyes sparkled with lust.  In all the sexual tension the two didn't hear the sound of a young boy calling for his mum.  Nor did they here the bell to the shop ring.  But of course they heard the boy run into the room yelling.

"Mum!  Where are ya I need to see if I 'ave to go to the mark......"

A/N: Hey I hope this was a good chapter I wanted to end with a bit of a cliff hanger if you'd consider this as that.  I don't know I like what I did, I think them getting caught adds drama and suspense.  I worked all day on this planning what to write in a notebook and then typing it out.  God I'm so tired anyway hope you liked this and I'll update soon because I have almost nothing else to do.