Habits

Promises

Sweeney ran out of his shop, breathing heavily. After a half hour of panicking he'd found a place to shove the bodies so they were perfectly hidden. He knew he had to tell Nellie but he didn't want to. She was going to be pissed, that he knew.

Nellie said she wanted him to be a suitable parent, not that he knew what she meant. Johanna had forgiven him, at least the first time, when she found out he'd killed and other than her he didn't have children. To be quite honest, Sweeney didn't want to be a father again so he found no point in not killing but he'd promised all the same.

As he got to the house he tried to calm himself and let out a short breath while walking inside. Nellie looked up and he could see the confusion of her face. He never left the shop before dinner, let alone before lunch. It was much to early for him to be done.

"Your back early." Nellie said, still surprised.

"I need to talk to you." He sighed.

Nellie inspected him closely, his hair was messy most likely from stress. His sleeves were rolled up and yet she saw something on them. It was red... She stood up and followed him out of the room. She knew what it was, she just didn't want to believe it. Just as the door to their bedroom closed she turned to look at him angrily.

"Ya killed someone didn't ya!" She huffed.

Sweeney could hear the anger in her voice. He looked down at his feet and went through the options he had at the moment. No matter what he would come clean as she wouldn't believe him if he denied. But what would come next? He could of course allow her to stay mad at him but it wouldn't help anything. He always had the power of seducing her but there was a high chance that wouldn't end well. He could lie, tell her that he had a real reason to kill the men. Or man as he would say.

Nellie saw his hesitation and continued, annoyed. "Sweeney, you made a promise! I need you to be a good man. You can't raise a child and also kill!"

Sweeney looked up.

"Raise a child?" He breathed, "Nell, are... are you pregnant?"

"Yes..." She sighed, "And I can't have you killing everyone you see when you have a child to raise. I may be the one carrying this baby but your in this with me."

Her voice was firm, and she looked dead serious. Sweeney was in shock, he didn't know what to think. What if the same thing happened? What if he was taken away from them? He couldn't be a father, he failed Johanna, he didn't want to fail Nellie too.

"Nell, I can't raise another child. I'm too dangerous. I didn't want to kill those men, it just happened. Their blood was spilt before I realized it. I want to change but how?"

"Sweeney ya aren't a bad man. There's a lot in your past that's dark but look at your future. Ya 'ave a chance to turn it all around, start a new, normal life. Leave it all behind love. Focus on what is not was. I love ya Sweeney, so much but ya need to stop."

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Nellie was fast asleep but Sweeney couldn't close her eyes. Every time he tried, his mind would haunt him with the past. The dark day when he was dragged away from Lucy and Johanna. Sweeney couldn't handle it. It was all too painful, he didn't want it to happen again. Pulling Nellie close to him he kissed her head. She stirred and turned so he head laid on Sweeney's chest.

All he wanted was to stay here forever, never leave this moment. The idea of raising a kid still made him worry but he had to prove himself to Nellie. With that he decided. This time he wasn't going to screw it up. If Nellie needed a good man to help her with a child he would fill that part. The past was behind him. What lay ahead was his decision and he wasn't going to let Nellie down.