Herondale High

Chapter 47- Does Anybody Really Know Josette?

Alec's P.O.V.

After everything that happened with Magnus, all the pain, hurt and betrayal I felt towards him and the unreasonable but unquestioning anger I felt at Josette, I never would've imagined I would be walking to the movies with Josie yet here I am. To think, I've gone my whole life thinking nobody could have it worse than me, at least not people who weren't slowly starving to death or something like that, but hearing about what Jo went through at 15 I can't help but remember all the times I felt sorry for myself when I was the same age. There I was crying myself to sleep tonight because I thought I was in love with Jace and he would never love me back while Josette was in Europe getting pregnant from some college student she was lying to, losing the babies, she was gonna have twins, and not being able to tell anyone from fear or them hating her. I understood the last part but I definitely think she had it worse. 

I knew from the moment I ran into her in the hallway that something was bothering her and as soon as we left the building she told me everything, starting with when she met the guy, apparently his name was Theo, and ending with her telling Clary, Jace over-hearing, and her lying because she couldn't face him if he knew the truth. "Magnus is the only one who I told, you know before Clary," says Josette as if to explain something to me. "He was new to town and I knew he wouldn't be there long, he had just moved there with his dad for business and he was fun, knew how to party for sure and that was what I was looking for. Anything to take the pain away ya know?" She looks at me with a desperate look as if she needs to know that I understand so I nod my head causing her to calm down slightly and continue. "I started a fling with him and that's really all it was, a fling. He told me some things about why he moved and why he lived with his dad one night when he was wasted so I felt like I should give him something in return. Plus I figured he was so shitfaced he wouldn't remember." I laugh and she smiles. "Except he did but he was really cool about it. Never told anyone what happened but he always blamed Jace. He said if he hadn't hurt me I never would've tried to forget him with sex so I said I never would've met him and he laughed. A few weeks later he traded up for what he thought was a real relationship with some slut named Camille. Things didn't work out and he left."

"Did he say good-bye?" I can't help but ask even though I want to know why things were so tense between them when she arrived. I can't help but remember that first day when she waltzed into the office and saved all out asses. I was in wonder of her with her confidence and the way she demanded the attention of everyone in the room but I couldn't help but glance at Magnus who looked like he had seen a ghost and was afraid that ghost was going to ruin his life. I turn to Josie and see a sad, far away look on her face. 

"Yeah, he did but things weren't all that great between us before so I don't know why it hurt so much when he stopped contacting me like he promised he would. I think it was that I didn't have anyone to talk to about my parents. Jake and Zack were both gone and I couldn't even talk to the people at my school because they decided that I had enough of an education." I can see the tears glistening in her eyes and I'm about to say something when she stops. I look up ad realize we are standing outside the theater. I glance back at Josie in time to see her wipe under her eyes before turning to me with a brilliant smile. "Ok, we're here. Let's forget about this drab conversation. Thanks for listening I didn't realize how much I needed to talk to someone."

She turns to walk into the building but I grab her arm and pull her back. "I know I said it before but I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you. I should never have blamed you. None of it was your fault and I didn't notice until now that there has been a piece of my life that was missing and that was you. I'm glad we're friends again. We are friends again right?"

She laughs. "Of course we are! Now as much as I'd love to sit and talk about our feelings, we should get inside so we can get snacks before the movie. With that, she spins on her heels and heads inside. I stare after her for a few minutes thinking about how much she has gone through at such a young age, how she keeps all of it bottled up so nobody really knows what she has been through, and how much she cares for everyone else. I can help but feel that same sense of awe I got the first time I saw her. She's so strong, confident, and independent that she takes care of everyone before herself. Before I walk through the doors I vow that for now on, I will take care of her and make sure she doesn't feel any more pain than she already has.