Confident

It Hurts

Song: I Want To Break Free by Queen

November 3, 1993

Forks clink against plates in an awkward attempt to keep from silence. The table is quiet. Each end keeps their mouth shut, though Eddie's not really sure why. Usually his mother was chatting up a storm. Tonight is different.

Sonia seems off. Almost like she's hiding something. Probably not a good something by the looks of it. Her eye keeps twitching, which Eddie noticed almost immediately. It's not like her to fidget so much.

Eddie can't keep his eyes still either. They dart back and forth, sometimes falling on a new detail of the house he's never noticed before. He wonders how long it'll stay like this. Has he done something terrible? Not that he knows of.

"You've been gone quite a bit recently." Her voice is so sudden. It's almost chilling.

The boy brings his eyes down from the ceiling. He gives a slight huff while pushing around his peas. "Have I done something?"

Soon Sonia is slapping down what seems to be a couple pictures. The bang shakes the entire table, moving the vase and glasses of water all around them. Eddie jumps at the sudden outburst.

Then his elbows prop. Eddie leans further as if trying to get a better look. The photographs are small, probably Polaroid. He can't really tell from his position.

Sonia must've noticed the eye squinting because soon she's sliding them across the table in a very aggressive manner. The woman is frazzled, obviously .

Eddie realizes why it's all happening now. The pictures, hidden between pages of a notebook, are out for show. This must mean she's been through his things again, which only send him spiraling into an angry fit. Luckily he's able to calm himself down a bit.

The pictures showcase him and Richie, shirtless and out of breath. It's the ones they'd taken not all that long ago. Eddie is thankful that she didn't find anymore. Then he'd be in a real pickle.

"I don't like that Tozier boy."

Eddie's a bit taken back by this. "You've never even met him."

Sonia turns up her nose. "I've seen him around."

"I hardly doubt that." Eddie mutters under his breath. He stares at the plate before him and refuses to meet her glare.

"I think I know when I see trouble."

The boy's chin juts out of place, it always does when he's angry. "You shouldn't speak of things you know nothing about. Don't you know not to listen to rumors?"

"And what about the rumors that say he's your little boyfriend? Hm? What about those pictures?" Sonia's voice raises a bit.

Eddie scoffs, sets down his silverware, and finally looks her way. "And what if it's true? Does it even matter?"

"You're staying home tonight. You're grounded. I'll schedule a doctors appointment for tomorrow."

Sonia stands and Eddie follows. "You've known I was gay for years, mom! How is this any different? Is it because it's actually happening? I'm almost eighteen! I'm bound to fall in love!"

"It's not right, Eddie Bear. You need a doctor."

Eddie yells now. "What? So they can put me on some other stupid pill that doesn't work? Are they going to send me off to camp to 'correct' me? You can't keep me locked away. You can't hide me and force me to like girls."

"Eddie I-..."

"You what? You never listen to me! I can't even talk to you anymore. If I say one wrong thing you blow up and take me to see a doctor. I'm a teenager! I get angry and I talk back and I lose sleep and I cry! I'm not sick! I'm a kid! You can't treat me like a patient for the rest of my life. You can't force your opinions upon me and think I'll just go along. I will be eighteen in just a few weeks. If you want to spend our last days like this, then fine. If you don't want to listen to me and hear me out and actually care then I'll be out in a month! Mom, you're keeping me here like a prisoner. I thought things were different this year. I thought maybe you'd actually opened up your eyes. But I was wrong. I make one move you don't like and I'm back to being your test subject! Mom I'm not dad!"