Troubled Youth [Poem Collection]

Boxcutter

There were shelves of them.
Rows and rows piled high and low.
Each content held a different design.
A different color with different lengths.
All housing different purposes.

My eyes glazed over a blue one.
With a military skin for a handle.
It was perfect.
It was beautiful.
It was just the right length.
To perform the task I had set for it.

Minutes later and I'm lying on the floor.
Holding the sliver blade centimeters above flesh.
I needed to feel the intense esctasy.
And the temptation was so strong.
So great that my resistance crumpled and thus my resolve.

And so I sliced
Again and again.
Deeper with each cut.

Lines I drew
Lines in pain and agony; my life's craving.
I drew them into words,
Then I drew them into pictures
Branding myself once again

It felt so good.
The rush and the high of it all.
The feeling was an addiction for me.

How many days has it been?
How many weeks?
Months?
Has it been a year?
Since I last spilled blood?

But it was worth the broken promise.
As my head slumped to the floor.
And my limbs grew numb.
My final moments would be one soaked in red.

It wasn't my intention.
Who knew a vain was so near?
But nevertheless I rejoice.
'cause as I fall into neverending slumber.
I just know that with it, my demons too.

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Hello my future readers!!! Firstly I would like to say thank you for 200 reads as well as 55 votes. I find it so shocking that so many of you have decided to read my poems and are loving them and I'm greatful for each one of you.

Secondly, I would also like to announce here that I have made a deal with a magazine called "All That's Lit To Print" where two of my poems "Troubled Youth" & "My Overdose" will be in their fifth issue!!!! I'm so excited for it to come out, and I do encourage you guys to give them a look because the poems and short stories that are published within them are really really good. The link to read their perivous magazine issues if you are interested is here: https://issuu.com/littoprint

I will be posting another poem later today or tomorrow but there will be one definitely before Monday. Take care and see you all next update. 💙