Troubled Youth [Poem Collection]

Adulthood

I'm under pressure
My body is conforming
I'm trying to resist
But slowly I'm crumpling

The world has me in her cold hands.
Stabbing pain in my back
Slapping red marks onto my cheek
Scarring my arms with red lines

Smile,
Its what they tell me.
Smile to the world and soon she'll smile back.
But the world is the devil
Lost of heart, innocence and purity.

When you smile,
She frowns.
Cause she knows there's something making you happy.
She wants to beat it out of you.
Destroy your thoughts
Conffudle your emotions
Drain you of all there is good
Until your broken into small fragmented pieces.
Until your nothing but a shallow,
Dark, aimless soul in the wind.

Life is a conundrum
Life is cruel
Life can be bitter
Like coffee without it's milk and sugar.
Black, boiling hot and filled with the remedy's of death.

Its like I'm drowning out here.
My last breaths of air are my childhood
The water filling up my lungs
That black murky liquid?
Is my depression mixed with my anxiety
Black liquified posion killing me on the inside.
Until my lungs swell up and burst and I can't breathe.

I can't breathe and I die without solace.
Without a saving grace
Without friends
Without family
Without a shot at love or anything remotely good.

Fuck my happiness
Fuck my optimistic thoughts
Drown me in life's cold hearted truth.
My youth has ended
And with that the feeling and will to go on in this darkness of a world.

To my readers still in school
Enjoy the lil time you have left
Don't yearn for adulthood
Because it's fucking hard out there
You'll meet terrible people you thought never existed.
It's no rainbows or sunshine
Its an apathetic world of endless rain.

School can be rough.
Trust me I've been there
But try to make something good out of it
Because out here....in the real world.
Is like God's neglection to Satan's paradise.

*_*_*_*_*_*_
Shout out to bisexualityinblack for giving me inspiration. He/she/they actually told me to write a poem on how I'm having troubles writing a poem but somehow that turned into this along the way so I just went with what my heart was telling me to write. 😅

Also shout out to the_lonely_flencher for checking up on me. I hadn't posted in awhile, and I'm glad they brought it to my attention cause I felt a more desire to have something up and not disappoint you guys.

I'll try to write more in the future, but no promises on that haha.

Love you all for reading and thanks for sticking with me.❤️💙💜