I'll Reach You One Day [RusAme angst]

Chapter 20: АМЕРИКА!!

!! warning !!
suicide//other depressing topics. if you're sensitive to these topics please skip this chapter. also please dont consider suicide, if you feel like giving up, please contact the suicide hotline. (you can google it) thank you and enjoy the chapter <3

{third person POV}

  America sighed as he thought 'this day is gonna suck ass'. he ran out of the scene and went to class.

    just as America entered the room everyone turned and stared. he stared back until the teacher gave a cough for attention, "ahem. alright students please start paying attention, class is starting." he stated. america sat down and began paying attention.

    the class passed by like all the others, lunch came around and america sat outside with Russia. America left to throw something away for Russia as north Korea came up to him.

    "미국." (america/American) america was unfamiliar with this language other then when he heard it from south, but south didnt sound like that. america turned around only to imediantely get slapped across the face. "what a faggot." north snickered. "leave me alone north, youre not so straight yourself." america replied as he cupped his cheek. north looked surprised and angry. "oh shut up, as if I would be gay." "i see the way you look at martial law, im not as stupid as you think i am" north was now as angry as ever, he punched america and kicked him in the stomach. "you idiot! you're so fucking stupid, im surprised you haven't been held back to freshman year. maybe even eighth grade!" north scolded. everyone watched in fear and got up to leave or to go inside. america tried to punch north Korea back but north caught his wrist and pulled him down. America grunted and got up quickly. "stop trying fool! you'll only fail. that's all you ever do anyway!!" north yelled. the statement rang in america's ears as he felt tears forming and tried to stay strong. "yeah go ahead and cry, crybaby!" america covered his ears and closed his eyes. "I-IM NOT CRYING!!" he yelled back. "SURE YOU ARENT, YOU FUCKING LIAR! WHY DONT YOU JUST KILL YOURSELF!!"

    'KILL YOURSELF! KILL YOURSELF! KILL YOURSELF!' is all america heard. the tears began falling down and gasps could be heard. america rose his head to stare at north as he laughed, but America couldnt hear it. he could just see it.

    he ran inside and everyone saw him. he didnt care though. Russia ran over and followed him throughout the school but lost him just as quickly as he ran to help.

    america had ran all the way to the park, which wasnt as far as his home. he quickly sprinted to the flower patch and fell over in the garden of sunflowers and daisies. he began laughing as the crying turned into sobbing. he remembered all the memories from the patch he was just in..

    america ran as he laughed around the park as canada chased him. "you cant catch me!" america yelled. "yes i can!" canada screamed back. america began running out of the park deeper in until he stumbled in a patch of flowers. "woah! this place is so pretty!!" america exclaimed as he picked the flowers and made a bouquet.

    he ran back to the park to his mom, france, sitting on the bench talking to UK. "mommy mommy! look what i got you!" he smiled. "aww! arent you just the sweetest little thing, Amérique!" france said taking the bouquet of daisies, sunflowers, roses, and lilies from America's hand.

    "where did you get these?" France asked. "over there!" america said, pointed the way of the flower patch. "take me there!" France said. UK looked a little ticked off and gathered America's siblings. "come on mommy and daddy!" america yelled with the biggest smile. once they arrived france gasped. "this is beautiful, l'amour! (love) we should visit more often!" france suggested. "yeah! this is my new favourite place!!" america said, raising both arms.

    America opened his eyes after the small flashback to this place. he still felt the tears falling from his eyes and sat up to see the sun was setting. 'shit' America thought when he realized he missed most of his school day. he got up and began walking back home with his head down the whole time.

    once america got home and knocked on the door, a worried france opened it and gasped. "Amérique!" she yelled hugging him. "i thought something bad happened!" America patted her back, "im sorry mom." america said finally hugging france back.

    "it's okay love, come inside" she said and they both entered the home. America thought about today and couldn't help feeling the way he did. he ran upstairs and slammed his door shut, beginning to sob into his knees again.

    he sobbed while hugging his knees tight. just then, he heard his red telephone start ringing. he tried to clam down and get a hold of himself as he got up from the floor. he walked up to the red phone on his desk that was next to a note he had been working on. a very important note. he looked back at the phone and picked up.

    "hello?" he said. "hey Америка!" Russia said "you okay?" america laughed inside at that. 'of course im not' he thought. "yeah im fine." he lied. "even after today fiasco? what happened lunch? where were you?? i called 5 times before answered!!" America felt overwhelmed. "im fine, okay?" America said. he obviously wasn't.

    America drifted off when Russia started rambling about how worried he was about him. he left the phone and walked to the bathroom. he looked around for his razor blade and opened a drawer only to find it. he grabbed it and rolled his sleeve up. 'damn im fucked up.' he thought as he left three more cuts on his bruised, bandaged, cut, and overall ruined arm. he lifted the other sleeve and added three more cuts.

    america felt pleased. this way he could have control over his emotions. he smiled and added more cuts then he expected. he heard his name being yelled in russian and stopped.

    he rolled his sleeve down and calmly walked over to the phone. "yeah?" he said simply. "jeez, scared me!" "like always." america mumbled. "come on, dont be like that." Russia wined "like what? myself? yeah i hate when I'm like myself too. im so fucking dumb and useless and fat and ugly and uninteresing and rude and lazy and-" "Америка stop!" Russia screamed. America couldn't take it anymore. he left the phone hanging off the cord that connected to the bottom part of the telephone.

    he took a key and unlocked a drawer, taking out a noose he had pre-tied. he grabbed a chair and placed it on the floor near his bed. he jumped on with the noose in hand. he tied it to the roof and took his jacket off so his arms were visable. he put his neck through the hole and tighten it. he took the important note out of his pocket and dropped it on the ground. he felt unbalanced as he knew it was time. the chair went down with a thud.

    Russia got off track from the sound of the chair. he was confused and began calling for America.

"Америка?"

...

"Америка...?!"

.....

"АМЕРИКА!!!"