*loud, ominous music plays*
What's going on?
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARES!
Oh, for Shire's sake.
This one is from kittygirlmoo! *pulls out card* "I dare Pippin to do a Scottish jig and ride a unicorn into Bilbo's house and throw Gollum at him and I dare Merry to do ballet in a pink tutu and princess crown."
I can't dance!
Me neither!
Oh, c'mon, it's easy as taking the Ring to Mordor.
Ugh, let me see that! *grabs card* *studies it* Oi! Tarwa!
What?
Did you see the writing on the BACK of the card?
No...?
Well, listen to this: "Tarwa has to do either what Merry does or what Pippin does, BUT the person whose dare you picked gets to add something extra to the dare."
WHAT?!
YES! *fist pumps Pippin*
*grumbles under her breath*
*hops on unicorn* FLY YOU FOOLS!
UNICORN: *flies to Bilbo's house*
GOLLUM: *stroking the precious*
*grabs Gollum and throws him through Bilbo's window while doing a Scottish jig*
GOLLUM: *lands at Bilbo's feet* Hello hobbitses!
BILBO: AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!!! WHAT THE LEMBAS?! *sees the precious* My ring! *snatches it from Gollum*
GOLLUM: *bites him*
BILBO: *hits him on the head with a chair*
GOLUM: A CHAIRSES?!
Well, that takes care of that. *flies back to Tarwa and Merry*
Okay, I'm going to do Merry's dare with him. *holds out pink tutu and princess crown*
NO! There ain't no way I'm ever gonna--
*waves his wand and turns Merry's clothes into a pink tutu*
The horror.
*puts tiara on his head*
*changes Tarwa's clothes into a pink tutu*
Alrighty then. *puts on the Sugar Plum Fairy music from The Nutcracker* *starts dancing the variation*
Why are you bending forward?
It's part of the dance.
Why are lifting your leg?
It's called an arabesque.
Why are you standing on your toes?
Now that's just pushing it. -.-
---
Later... 👯
---
I GIVE UP! I tried to teach you how to dance, but you SUCK.
That's not surprising. Merry's got no grace or beauty at all.
Yes I do!
No, you don't.
WAIT A SECOND!
What?
The dare stated that we could add something extra to Tarwa's dare!
*stops dead in her tracks* IT DID?!
Yup.
NO!
MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Hmm ... what should we dare her to do?
BILBO: *throws Gollum at them*
GOLLUM: *lands at Tarwa's feet* Hi sister! *tries to hug Tarwa*
*hides behind Merry and Pippin*
Merry, you thinking what I'm thinking?
Uh-oh.
Yup! Tarwa, you have to dance with Gollum!
NOOOOOOOO!
YEEEEESSSS!
NOOOOOOOO!
YEEEESSSSS!
NOOOO--
Okay, enough screaming. Go dance with him.
*groans* Okay, fine! Hey, Gollum!
GOLLUM: Yes?
Let's do a whip turn.
GOLLUM: Huh?
*facepalm* This is gonna be harder than I thought.
---
Even Later... 💃
---
Can I stop dancing with Gollum now? He can hardly do a plié.
*taking pictures* Ohhh, alright.
Thank you. *slaps Merry* Well, one thing's for sure: Gollum's a better dancer than you, Merry.
What?
You can't even pointe your toes!
Yes I can!
No, you can't.
*crosses arms* Well I could if I wanted to...
No, you couldn't.
---
Hey guys! Look who decided to update. *slams head against wall*
Anway, I just wanted to thank you all for 6.5K reads! :D
The video in the media section is the beautiful Alina Somova performing the Sugar Plum Fairy variation from The Nutcracker (the dance I mentioned in this chapter). She's amazing!
Have a great 2015!
~Tarwa
YOU ARE READING
Only the Craziest - Written by Merry and Pippin
Fanfiction• Finalist of мα∂ιв79'ѕ 'тнє нσввιт/ℓσтя fαиfιcтισи cσмρєтιтισи' • Hello every person in the magical land of Computer! It's us: Merry and Pippin! Ya know, the handsomest, smartest Hobbits to ever live? Especially me, Merry. Ow, ow, okay, stop hittin...
