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"And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you."

- Kiersten White, The Chaos of Stars


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"The only person in this world who ever mattered to me was murdered in cold blood."

Sebastian's words cut through the silence of the room.

My whole body stiffened and my breath hitched. My eyes locked with his grey ones, waiting for him to explain.

After a few beats of silence, he finally spoke again. "My mother left when we were very young and our father wasn't worthy of being called a father, he was a cold person. He believed in discipline over compassion. It was my brother who raised me, although he was only seven years older than me, he was the only true guardian I had, mio fratello. (My brother)."

Sebastian paused to swallow. "He was a good man. He never wanted to be a part of this family. He didn't want this life for us. He sacrificed everything for me, he fought to send me to boarding school so I could get away from this world."

I could feel my chest constricting. I could feel his pain.

"We had always been taught to not feel emotions, to not care about other people because love meant weakness. Love was just something your enemies could use against you. My brother never followed the rules, though. He never believed in them. He fell in love with Ellie and then went against everyone in the family to marry her."

Sebastian smiled but it was a sad smile, it made my heart ache.

"The first time I met Ellie was at their wedding. I could see how much she loved my brother, which automatically made me love her. You know, for some time there was actually a little light in our dark world, there was love and maybe even a little hope. I went back to boarding school and a few months later he called me. It was strange because he never called unless it was something urgent. I remember answering the call and hearing my brother's choked sobs on the other end. I felt like my world had stopped. Had something happened to him? Had something happened to Ellie? But when he finally spoke, his words knocked me to my knees."

He took a shaky breath. "He told me that Ellie was pregnant, that I was going to be an uncle. He was crying, he was so happy. He wanted to be a father so badly, Angelica. I couldn't tell him that the idea of raising a child in the world we belonged in was a terrible idea. I flew back home as Ellie's due date neared. I wanted to be there for the two of them when the baby arrived."

Sebastian's hands started to tremble and I could feel my heart sink. I could feel it. The dread, I knew something terrible was going to happen.

"What happened?" I managed to choke out.

Sebastian's chest heaved, his breaths coming out rapidly. "When I went to the house I was expecting my brother to open the door but I was greeted by my father instead. I knew something wasn't right, my father never bothered to come see me whenever I came home. As soon as he saw me he told me that he wanted me to come with him, he wanted me to assist him in one of his errands. I told him I wouldn't go. I knew whatever he wanted assistance with wasn't legal, it probably involved taking lives. When I resisted he called his men and they started forcing me out of the house into his car. That was the precise moment when my brother stepped in. He pleaded with our father to take him instead of me. My father easily agreed, he didn't want to take me, he wanted to take his eldest son but he knew the only way he would ever agree to go would be if he threatened me. I begged him to stay, told him to stay with Ellie, that I would go but he wouldn't let me. He said he didn't want me to be tainted by the life I never chose but was unfortunate enough to have. He ordered me to stay with Ellie and like a coward, I did."

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