Never Run

013 ::: Never Leave

Hi lovelies! Sorry about the long wait for this chapter, but thank you for being patient and reading!

**WARNING: This chapter deals with self-harm and suicide. Please proceed with caution and at your own discretion.

Today was the day.

Various people ran around the house, shouting different orders and commands to those that were listening. Table were shuffled between different rooms, up the stairs, down the stairs, inside, outside; it almost seemed as if there wasn't any certain person in charge leaving the whole ordeal unorganized. Chairs were hauled in different directions with different colored cloth adorning each one, tied with a satin bow in the back. It took me a second to realize that the colors were all of a scheme: black, gray, and the golden beige color that my dress mirrored.

As a sickening feeling dived into my stomach, I pulled my robe closer to my body for comfort. I was currently with Sienna in the kitchen, eating a light breakfast since I would be eating a big feast later. At least that's what they thought.

I wouldn't make it to the feast.

But they didn't know that.

The crass clanging of metal chafers, porcelain plates, and the silver cutlery assembled a cacophony of unharmonized noise. There was a certain buzz about the air, excitement mixed with nervousness and slight irritability. I, however, couldn't partake in the thick excitement that laced the atmosphere. Even when I tried as to not throw anyone off my original plan, I just couldn't find it in my heart to force it too much. I would softly smile at people, but at the same time, people knew my true feelings of what today held.

I didn't want to be here.

If they didn't know that then they were stupid.

Last night during one of the many moments when I couldn't sleep, I quietly snuck into the bathroom and double, triple, quadruple checked the toilet tank to ensure that the shard of glass I had hid hadn't been removed. I was so worried that someone would somehow find out what I was planning on doing and I wouldn't be able to escape this mess. Each time a sliver of relief flooded through me and I went to lay back down. As the seconds ticked by, the same irrational fear crept back up and I would have to check again.

Nothing was going to take this away from me.

In total, I think I may have been able to get two maybe three hours of sleep. Although, the sleep was never peaceful as it was tainted with the memories of my family. Deep sleep eluded me and it was like I was asleep, but wasn't at the same time. I would be able to sleep today. That's what kept me going, kept me pushing forward.

Cold fingers wrapped gently around my wrist, tugging my body towards the exit of the kitchen and my mind from my thoughts. Sienna's dark auburn hair cascaded down her back, mixed with knots and tangles from her own night of sleep. Still, it somehow remained beautiful and I suddenly became very aware of my own hair. The dull brown framing my face, almost looking the color of ash.

Shaking my head I mentally chastised myself for worrying about something so superficial. It was just hair. I had bigger things to focus on than what the tendrils that covered my head looked like.