Arms Unfolding

Chapter 11

I made this appointment yesterday and I think I regret it. I sat down on the couch and it felt so weird not having Paul next to me. She looked surprised to see me alone.

"John? Where's Paul?"

"I set up the appointment and I-I just need someone to talk too." I took a deep breath, I felt like I was about to cry.

She must see how fucking desperate I am. I have no one so who else would I have gone too? Fans hate me, Paul hates me, George, and Ringo hate me. At this point who doesn't?

"What happened?" Her calming voice and demeanor made it all the more easy to confess too.

"I slapped George for writing a song about Paul and I's problem. George and Ringo twisted it into something it wasn't and made it look worse than it did."

"Are George and Ringo your band mates?" She asked. It's like she doesn't know exactly who Paul and I are.

"Yes, keep up, but Paul's mad at me and I don't think he'd believe me if I told him the truth."

"Did you try?"

I paused for a moment  before speaking and realized what a dumbass I was. "No, I probably shouldn't assume should I?"

"John, you need to be honest and open with Paul. If you really want to get through this you need to communicate." She looked down at her notes and wrote something down then back at me.

"I think you're right." I signed. God I really fuck it up didn't I? I should probably tell Paul the truth. Will he believe me? Who knows!

"John, what was your childhood like?" I found it weird she was asking about my childhood. How does that correlate to anything?

"A shit show, my mom was unstable so my aunt raised me, and my Dad's a dick. My mom died when I was a teenager." I haven't thought about my mom in a while. I've been avoiding the thought of her for years. I didn't see the point of brining myself down, I still don't really.

"Do you remember what you did after you died?" It took me a minute to think back to it. The memory wasn't all that clear but I guess that's what happens when you don't think about it.

"I yelled at someone, I can't quite remember who. Maybe my Aunt or a friend."

___________

I opened the door to our flat and quickly searched for Paul. I found him in the bedroom watching a movie. I grabbed the remote and quickly turned off the movie.

"The fuck-" I quickly cut him off with a rant.

"Paul, listen to me! I didn't attack George for no fucking reason! He wrote a song about this whole disruption I got angry and then I slapped him! I know it's not right!"

"Wait what?" He looked at me with a puzzled expression. "They lied! I didn't just yell at them for not letting me play the song."

"They wouldn't do that."

"Paul, I wouldn't lie about this!"

I could tell Paul was conflicted and I just wanted him to believe me. I understand why I'm not as trustworthy as George or Ringo I mean I fucking cheated on him. I just need him to believe me for once.

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