Married to my Best Friend

Bob the Builder...er, Saviour

A/N: Joel Courtney is sooooo cute, don't you think? Anyways, the next chapter's here. Enjoy! 

This is how things should have been. 

I, a straight man, would have married my best friend, another straight man, gotten Belle's adoption, lived together for a year to avoid all and any suspicion and then gone away back to our merry ways. My best friend being gay, me going through a sexuality battle, Tahniya and Bob knowing about our whole plan, my extremely embarrassing wet dreams and all the other things that are now happening in my life, weren't supposed to be, in any way, happening. 

But, that's how things exactly are. 

Whatever,  I really needed a solution to all of that and hence, I landed in my present predicament. 

"That's  the best way, actually. ", Bob says seriously, from where he's sitting on the bar stool beside me. I can not see where I'm going to hide a gay porn DVD in my room. Charlie practically knows every nook and corner of my room. Me being me, I never leave my room tidy. In fact, it was never tidy a few months ago.  It was only after Charlie came along that he started to clean it for me,  mind you, he never lets me see that. He always does it when I'm gone and then says something like -"You room was stinking. Do you poop on your bed? " or "Some people like to live in a house, not in a heap of clothes and food. " or sometimes " I had nothing else to do. Might as well spend my time in doing something productive "- so, yeah, Charlie probably knows my room better than me. 

And I'm supposed to hide a gay porn DVD in there. Excellent idea Bob,  way to go! (slow claps).

"I can't, Charlie will find out! ", I say for the umpteenth time. "But I can't think of anything else, I mean, if you get, you know, when you watch it, you're probably gay. I don't get your point, though. I mean, what's the big deal if Charlie finds out?  I know, Tahniya knows, he should know too, he's your best friend. ", Bob replies. But I can concentrate on only one part of the statement. 

Tahniya knows. 

"How in holy hell does Tahniya know? I most certainly did NOT tell her. ", I say, glaring at Bob. He smiles sheepishly. The bastard told her. Hey, fucker, I trusted you with this information! It was supposed to be a guy thing! I exhale in annoyance. " So this was her idea? -This whole porn thing? ", I ask, raising my eyebrows. Bob shakes his head. "No, no. Her idea was a bit more... er,  drastic. ", he says,  nodding to himself. "She wanted you to go to a gay bar, hook up with someone for surety ", he adds. 

I think I have some of my beer in my nose, it would be really nice if I could snort it out. 

"Hook up with some random guy!? For God's sake, have both of you little shits, in any way,  forgotten that I'm MARRIED? ", I ask him incredulously. "So this marriage turned real. When did that happen? ", Bob asks, eyes twinkling knowingly, one eyebrow raised in question. I open and close my mouth like a gold fish and finally resort to glaring at him. Bob grins devilishly and I want to punch him in the gut. "I guess that is the reason why you don't want Charlie to find out about the porn? ", he asks, still grinning. Satanic bastard. I nod reluctantly. "If you want something with your husband,  then my dear friend, you'll need to be sure about this. So I think you should accept this unholy dirty DVD, containing filthy blasphemous acts of adultery between two men,  that I'm giving you for that purpose. ", he says,  handing me the DVD wrapped in a brown paper. "Did you have to be that dramatic in explaining that!?", I ask, raising my eyebrows as I accept the package. "I will take that as a thank you", he says and then takes a sip of his beer. There's a beat of silence filled only by the chatter in the bar. "You sure you don't want to try the gay bar? ", Bob asks. This time I kick him in the shins. 

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I don't know if I'm really just as mentally retarded as Charlie says I am, or maybe I'm just as intelligent as a brick wall. That has to be it. Otherwise, there's no way in hell that I failed to notice my own gayness. I'm probably one of the gayest men on earth. I should probably even receive an award for it. My gayness has no limits. I have been born with an unimaginable, unconditional love for penises. One penis in particular. I haven't seen it yet though. I'm soooooo gay,  I'm sooooo gay for Charlie. 

I really have to thank Bob sometime. Gay porn was an excellent idea.

 Hiding the porn wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. My pile of underwear (that Charlie never touches, even when he cleans the rest of the room) worked like the most secure locker in the universe. However, I watched it with great difficulty. First, I had to  convince Belle to spend the day at her friend's place, second, I had to make sure Charlie wouldn't come home before time and third I had take a day off from office. But all my efforts were worth it. 

I'm now a certified shirt-lifter. Congratulations to me! 

This epiphany further encouraged me to take more advice from Bob this time to 'have something with my husband '. He suggested just the usual crap. Ask him for dates,  dinners,  movies, blah blah blah etc. Indirectly, of course. 

Again, this is how it should have gone. 

I would ask him out a few times.  Then we would start sneaking glances at each other,  accidentally brushing hands,  which would gradually turn deliberate and then one night when we would be alone, we would get drunk, and then end up kissing which would lead to some mind blowing sex. 

Again, it's not the way things have gone. 

"So, you think we can go for dinner tomorrow, I mean, you, me and Belle ", I had asked Charlie at the dinner table where the three of us are still seated. "Tomorrow? Umm... Eric that would be lovely,  but I won't be able to manage tomorrow,  maybe Wednesday? ", he'd replied. I had frowned. "Why? You're going somewhere ?", I had asked again.  This time,  Charlie had taken a deep breath, his skin had flushed adorably pink , he'd cleared his throat and then he'd said, "I... um.. yeah, I have a... a date tomorrow. Belle can you pass the salt? ". "Oh. ", I had replied and it was only then that the statement had registered into my brain.  I had choked on my food. "You have a WHAT? ", I had asked,  mind gone blank from shock. 

A/N: So here's another chapter. Please vote and let me know how you think the story is going in the comments. Bye! ☺