Mixtape (Ben Hanscom x Oc)

Goodbye Daddy

The sun was the only thing bright that day. I sat in the many chairs set out but, it was only me. There was no Birdie, there was no Mary, no Henry or Connor. It was just me. I was pissed that Dep hadn't even shown up. I couldn't bring myself to look at the man as he talked about how good of a man Dad was. He didn't know Dad. Dad wasn't a good man. He was a hard working man but not a good man. I wasn't crying he didn't deserve it. Henry hadn't died that day but, now there was no Henry left. They let me see and all he could say was that the clown made him do it.
"It's not my fault Beatrice. Pleases you have to understand he made me do. It was the clown. I didn't want to hurt you. Please you have to believe me." He begged at my feet and I couldn't tell him I believed him. They'd throw me in the nut house too.
I knew I would never forget that helpless look on his face. I couldn't save him and I felt like shit about it. Henry killed Vic and Belch. Their  funeral was today and their parents wouldn't let me go. Instead I sat here looking at a man who hadn't done anything for me.
"Oscar Bowers has two wonderful children. One a strong young man and the other a beautiful young women. This kids will continue to grow and live. His daughter sits here today and mourns her father with no family left to comfort her." The man spoke and I assumed he was finished so, I stood up and left.
I couldn't sit there and pretend to be upset about it. I hated that man and there was nothing you could say to change my mind.
"Bab!" Richie called coming up from behind me.
"What's up Richie?" I asked grabbing my bike off a tree.
"You'll need some help packing." Richie said obviously ready to help.
"Yeah I guess so." I said rubbing the back of my neck.
**********

"Never thought I'd come back here." I said catching up to Richie.
"Yep the barrens, they're like home to us now." Richie said obviously expecting me to say something else.
The losers and agreed to gather here for some unknown reason. We all sat down on logs or the ground.
"What was it like Bev?" Stan asked breaking the silence that had settled.
"You mean when it had me?" Bev asked looking at him.
"Yeah what did he show you?" I asked wanting to know what would happen.
"I can only remember parts of it but, I thought I was dead. That's what it felt like. I saw us all of us back in Derry but, we were older. Like our parents ages." Bev said looking directly at me. She knew something about me all the losers didn't.
"What were w-we doing?" Bill asked obviously wanting to know what was happening.
"I just remember how we felt. How scared we were. I don't think I'll get forget that." Bev explained and I felt the fear in my soul.
Bill scrambled to his feet and started frantically looking for something. He stood up and had a broken price of glass in his hand.
"Swear. Swear that if it isn't dead, if it ever comes back, we come back too." Bill said standing strong in front of us. He slid the glass across his own hand and turned to look at the rest of us.
"I'll swear it." I said standing up to face him.
"Me too big Bill." Richie said standing up beside me. The rest of the losers stood up.
We were all willing to fight that clown so no one else would have to go through what we went through. Bill went around cutting each of our hands. Richie slung his hand getting blood on me and Eddie. Eddie cradled his hand to his chest and didn't say much. Once Bill reached Stan they stared at each other until Stan our his hand out. When Bill cut Bev's hand he hesitated and stared at her for a second. After he had cut Bev's hand Bill stood on the same place his was next to me with his hand out. I placed my hand in his and gave Richie my other. Once we all joined hands I felt something surge though me. This feeling wasn't bad but, I could tell the other losers felt it too. We all stood there for a couple seconds until Stan broke the silence.
"I hate you guys." Stand said looking at all of us. Richie and Eddie giggled causing Stan to smile. I smiled as well hoping he didn't really mean it.
"Anyway I've gotta go. See you around." Stan said turning around and leaving.
"Bye Stan." I said waving at him. He turned around and was gone. 
Tears came to my eyes. I wasn't sure if it was from the pain in my hand or the pain in my heart. I knew that I was going to have to leave Derry. I was going to miss these Losers. I looked down at the ground and sat down cradling my hand against against my chest remembering what Ben said when we left that house.
"I've gotta bounce." I said standing up, "I'll see you tonight right?" They all looked at me and Rich smiled.
"You can bet your bottom dollar." Richie said making fun of me.
"Alright." I said turning around I wrapped Ben in a hug and turned and looked at the losers, "Adios Amigos." I finished finally walking off. I still had packing to do.
********
I hummed a song that had been playing on the radio when I got home. I folded my shirt and placed it in the suitcase. There was a soft knock at my window. I walked over to it and slid it open.
"I hope you don't mind but I brought some people with me." Richie said climbing into the room. The rest of the loses slowing piled in.
"You didn't have to sneak in through the window. Nobody's home but me." I said smiling as I helped Bev through the window.
"All this work for nothing." Eddie said looking around.
"It's for traditional reasons." Richie explained wrapping his arm around my shoulder.
"It's look kinda of empty in here now." Ben said looking around.
"Yeah especially the closet." Richie said grabbing my camera and handing it to me.
"That's a good idea Rich let me get a picture of all of you." I said waving at the losers to group up.
"Okay say losers." Mike called. Just as I took the picture Richie made a ridiculous face causing everyone to double over laughing.
"That's a keeper." I said grabbing the picture from the front of the camera.
"Let me see." Bev said coming over to see it. The losers came over to see it.
"We look so stupid."
"Is that really what I look like when I laugh."
"Can you get another copy?"
"Man."
"How does Richie looks even uglier."
"Oh come Eds you know I'm the prettiest one."
"How bout we let Bab keep it. She is leaving after all." Mike said stepping away from the rest of us.
"Sounds like a good idea." Richie said agreeing as he looked over at me.
"I'm gonna go for walk. I got a lot of things to thinks about." I said walking out of the room.
**********
"I hate you! You didn't do shit for me. You were so obsessed about Henry and me being strong but, you couldn't even fight him off. Everybody in this town pities me. There goes that Bowers girl. She's just as crazy as her brother. You did this to him. I hate you! Most people are waiting for me to snap or fall apart. I'm not gonna cry. You don't deserve them. I can only pretend not to hear the whispers. The stay away form her honeys. She's crazy. Be careful." I said throwing the beer bottle at that slab of stone.
"Oscar 'Butch' Bowers father, police chief, and friend. Here lies a good man, a good father, and a hard worker." A voice said from behind me.
"I wish that was true." I said turning around to face Leroy.
"Your grandpa was a good man. We had a scuffle before your father was born. I swore I'd never speak to a Bowers again but, a girl needs a strong figure after somebody dies." He said stopping beside.
"They buried him over there." I said pointing to my grandpa's grave.
"What about Bertha?" Leroy asked.
"She's over there too." I said sitting down.
"Shirley's in the car, she's been worried about you." Leroy said pointing towards an old beat up pick up truck. I walked over to the car and tapped on the window.
"How have you been sweetheart?" Shirley said rolling the window down.
"I've been better." I said wiping my eyes.
"Where are you going to go?" She asked grabbing my hand.
"To Arizona. My aunt lives there." I explained rubbing the back of my neck.
"That's an awful long way." She said looking me square in the eye.
"Yeah I guess it is." I said shrugging my shoulders.