~Follow up to Ally's side of My Girlfriend & My Mistress~
You've been living in Florida with your Fiancèe Ally for the past year. You're both still settling into your new lives here, adjusting to your new workplace and planning your wedding and eve...
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🚫This part contains descriptions of self harm some readers might find triggering or upsetting🚫 ____________________________
You close the front door as quietly as possible and creep towards the stairs. You'd been with Wilhemina for hours and lost track of time.
Ally had called you 8 times when you'd finally checked your phone, she'd also sent two very passive aggressive texts you hadn't responded to.
"Where have you been?"
"Fuck! You scared the shit out of me. Why are you down here in the pitch black?"
You blink as Ally turns the hallway light on before leaning onto the staircase and folding her arms.
"I thought you were sick."
"I am...I was. I felt better this afternoon and I got bored, I just wanted some fresh air I felt gross."
"Uh-hu, where did you go?"
Shit, think of something quickly! Where did I go...
"I just went to the store and then grabbed a coffee."
"For almost 4 hours?"
"I just got carried away catching up on some client files."
"On your laptop?"
"Yeah."
"And where is your laptop?"
Shit.
"I guess I left it in the car."
"Okay, that must have been a brand new laptop I saw in the spare room then huh?-"
Shit!
"-why are you lying to me? Where have you really been? Were you with...Her?"
"No, of course not."
Yes.
Ally walks right up to you, her big brown eyes filled with sadness.
"I want to believe you."
"Look, I was out doing wedding stuff okay. I went to the hotel to finalise a few things, I just...Wanted it to be a surprise. I'm sorry."
Why did you say that?!
You get a sickening, sinking feeling in your stomach as you immerse yourself deeper into the lie. The irony of you now genuinely feeling sick isn't lost on you.
"I'm sorry too baby." She runs a hand through your hair and ruffles your already messy bun.
"I'm gonna go up to bed, are you coming?"
"I'll be up soon, I just have some work to finish off for the morning."
"Okay." You turn quickly to make your escape to the bedroom, but your fiancèe pulls you back by the sleeve of your hoodie.
"Hey, I love you." Ally places a soft kiss on your lips as you try to ignore the rapidly increasing feeling of guilt.
"I love you too."
******** You slump down onto the bed, throwing your head into your hands.
I fucking hate myself. I love Ally, but I love Mina...I'm supposed to be getting married in 6 months! What the fuck do I do?! Why have I gotten myself into this shit?!
You begin to sink your fingernails into your forehead as you get more and more angry with yourself. You feel as though you need to smash something against the bedroom wall and scream out as loud as you can, but with Ally right downstairs you know that's not a possibility.
There's only one thing that will help...
You pull yourself off the bed and shuffle towards the bathroom, wincing as the bright lights come on and bounce off the white marble tiles.
You grab some towels out the cupboard and lie them carefully across the floor by the bath before going into the cabinet above the sink.
The last time you can remember feeling like this was about 2 years ago when you'd taken time off work. You'd been off for around 2 weeks and when you got back Wilhemina had just started as your new boss at 107 Law.
You get a surge of guilt thinking about her and it makes you drag you sweat pants down and take the first swipe across the top of your thigh with the razor.
You watch the blood pool around the cuts and trickle down your leg onto the towels you've put down.
They look pretty deep.
Whenever you cut you always feel detached from the situation - like you're stood there watching yourself do it. You're not sure how long you've been sat on the edge of the bath for, bleeding onto the floor.
Your brain fog clears and you quickly scramble to press a towel over the cuts. You walk back into the bedroom with a slight limp and retrieve the large dressings you keep in one of your bedside drawers.
As you dress your thigh a sense of calm washes over you, followed by the need to sleep. You clear up the towels and any trace of what you've done, hiding everything behind your bedside table to take care of tomorrow. _______________ End of part 10. Heavy stuff 😔. I'llbe honest, I had the first half of this written for like 3 days but I found it quite difficult to write the second half and kept putting it off. I try to do my best to write about mental health in some of my stories and I'd never condone self harm as a coping mechanism by any means - but I certainly understand when you feel like it's all you have♡.
