Life of Ives ✔️

Forty-one

MAX

I stare into the wall of my room. It's honestly been a hell of a week. I've been going to class a lot, though, to my professors' surprise. They always look so shocked when I walk into my classes and open up a notebook to actually pay attention.

I realized quickly that I should have been going to them earlier with the amount of stuff that didn't make any sense to me. I don't really want to be held back a year, so I'm going to make an effort now.

That whole thing with Ives has blown over a bit now, but every student here knows about it.

None of us who received a text that day has shared it with anyone. I took a screenshot of mine and put it into some secret folder, before I deleted it. Just in case someone got a hold of my phone. There's also rumors going around as to who got the texts, and why she did it.

I'm dreading the day she comes back.

Grayson told me she woke up yesterday, though, so she lived. Luckily.

I really had no idea what was going on inside her mind until that all happened. Josie, Grayson, Dean and I spent a lot of time in the hospital with her while she was in a coma, but eventually we all left and tried to prepare ourselves for the possibility that she might not wake up. But she did.

I'm really happy she did.

I don't know her that well, and I was stupid to ever think I could stand a chance against Dean, but I guess it had some kind of purpose.

If I didn't know her at all when this happened, I don't think I'd rethink my own life like this. I'd probably just shrug it off as another crazy bitch trying to get attention, but I know better. She's anything but that.

My phone starts vibrating next to me, and I see the word "dad" flash on my screen.

I sigh a little, and run a hand across my face, before I pick the phone up and slide my thumb across the screen.

I don't bother putting the phone up to my ear, I press the speaker-button instead.

"Hey," I say, and stare at the wall once again.

"Hey, Maxy, how's it going?"

My dad's chipper voice fills the room, and I look at the time on my phone quickly. I'm pretty sure it's really late in the evening over there, so I just groan.

"Everything's great, dad, I'm fine," I say, and I'm pretty sure I don't sound believable at all, so I decide to try to change the subject. "How are you? Any hot girls in your bed?"

I start to fiddle with the hole in my jeans, above my knee. The loose, white strings hanging from it is a great substitute to those fucking annoying fidget spinners that everyone had a few years back.

"No, not today," he says, and laughs, but then he clears his throat. "You know, your mom told me about your friend. Are you sure you're okay? I can book you some plane tickets to come over here for Christmas?"

Of course mom told him. I sigh a little, and tug on one of the strings on my ripped jeans.

I told my mom about Ives in confidence, because she had heard about the girl that attempted suicide, and she heard that she went to the same college as me and wondered if I knew her. I told her that I did, that I knew her better than I've known any girl, and that I thought I was going to fall for her, but I realized another guy was better with her. For her.

Mom, of course, told me that that wasn't true, and I should go for it, but I don't think Ives sees me that way. At least not anymore. She may have wanted to explore some feelings for me before I was stupid enough to back off, but now she's in love with Dean.