LOSS

CHAPTER 27

I walked out of the hospital in a daze. It felt like I was floating, I couldn't even tell where my feet was taking me.
I clutched the files in my hand like my life depended on it.

I couldn't drive in this state of mind. I took a cab home and to my utter surprise I was knocking my neighbour's door.

"Can I help you?" He asked immediately he opened the door. My presence confused him and it also confused me. Why did my body lead me here?

"You're a therapist right?" I asked immediately. He raised his eyebrow and an amused smirk appeared on his face.

"I thought you didn't remember me" he folded his hand over this chest and relaxed on the door frame.

"I need to talk to someone" I whispered. Suddenly I felt my eyes burn. I was now holding back tears.

He became serious the second he saw my face. He didn't ask what I wanted to talk about, he just led me into his house and gave me a seat.

"Are you okay? Is everything alright?" He asked calmly. It felt like he genuinely cared, and that made me comfortable enough to burst into tears.

He handed me a tissue box and tapped my shoulder comfortingly. I spent ten minutes crying before I could finally make a proper sentence.

"I got divorced today" I mumbled. He heard me though.

"Do you regret it?" He asked.
I wasn't expecting that question. I just wanted a complete stranger to cry to. The question stunned me and I couldn't even give an answer. I silently searched my heart.

"Getting a divorce isn't an easy decision to make especially when a child is involved, but you need to remember all the reasons that led to it. Crying is normal but don't you dare regret making a decision to protect yourself" he said making sure I was looking him in the eye. He literally held me still.

"I don't regret it" my answer left my mouth on it's own accord.

"Do you feel guilty towards your daughter?" He asked.

"Slightly. I mean I could have gotten divorced when she was a baby to save her the heart ache now" I answered honestly.

"So either way, the divorce is inevitable, why are you crying then? He had his game face on, no sympathy nothing on his face to betray what he was thinking.

" I don't think I'm crying about the divorce per se, it's a new chapter in my life I don't think I'm ready for. I can't use Barry as an excuse anymore. I have to put myself out there now, not hide away or sit at home. You know?"

He gave a nod.

"Is that it? Just a nod? No wise words?" I asked perplexed by his silence.

"We both know you don't need that right now."

I stayed at his house crying and ranting and cursing at whatever I could curse at till I felt strong enough to go home and celebrate with my mom. My neighbour really helped me by just sitting there and nodding. He said nothing except where necessary.

"Thank you so much, I owe you one" I thanked him as I stood up to leave.

"You do. My charge is 80 per session.

I was gobsmacked. This dude was seriously asking for payment. He burst out laughing before I could even string words together to give him a response.

"I was only joking".

He might have been joking but I took it seriously. Now I felt like bad. Taking this stranger's time to talk about my problems and then getting up to leave without even considering his time I just wasted. How selfish have I become?

"I'll definitely pay next time. I'm really sorry I wasted your time" I apologised.

"It's ok really, I'm happy to help".

I left the house awkwardly, I still felt bad. As I got to my door, I took a deep breath and opened to the door.

My mom was in the kitchen.

She looked at me, I looked at her. I held up the document in my hand and smiled. My mom screamed, tossing the towel in her hand and raced towards me.