Reasons Why Falling Inlove With Your Bestfriend Is A Bad Thing

Reason #12 : Part 1

I was here, she was there. You never knew the feelings I had bear. The torture you have given me as if you don't care.

The memories of us were stronger but the emotions you give for her was more passionate than what you have for me.
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From the moment you looked at her, I already knew. She was the one that gave you the emotions you thought you never had. She made you believe in something that you thought were all fairy tales. She was the one that brought color to your world.

And that hurts me.

The way you look at her, the way you smile at her, the way you laugh at her damn cheesy and corny jokes, and the way you love her upsets the shit out of me.

Because..

That's how I watch you. That's how I smile for you. That's the way I laugh at your jokes and that's the way I love you. It upsets me because everything I ever wanted from you was given to someone else. I was upset because you never knew.

I was here.

I knew that what you can offer was friendship and I'm more than happy to be the friend that you need. I know that you're hurting and I know that you're trying.

There was never an us.

There was never an us but I'm hurting. I want to blame you for the pain that I'm feeling but I have no right to do so because I never told you from the beginning.

I know you're hurting but..

I just wish that you saw me too. I just wish that you could look at me the same way that you look at her. I just wish that the twinkle in your eyes could be because of me. I just wish... that I was your everything.

I'm your bestest friend, I know. I'm sorry that your bestest friend fell for you but I promise you that I never wanted this to happen.

I'm your enemy. The only enemy that made you laugh. The only enemy that wanted you and craved for your attention.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm selfish. I admit that I'm selfish and I want your attention only on me. The way you walk, the way you talk, the way you look at me and rock the hoodie-- everything you do melts me.

I tried to do everything but your attention was still on her. I sulked at the corner when you failed to congratulate me but you never saw the disappointment in my eyes.

I was here.

I was here when you were down. I was there when you were vulnerable and I was there when you let it out.

Yet you haven't noticed the feelings I had hidden. Oh wait, I never hid it. I displayed it in front of you. Your focus was just on somebody else and that's why you didn't know.

You told me about her.

I smiled and kept the pain inside. I smiled but cried inside my room, wondering why out of all people it had to be her. She was someone that played you and someone that broke your trust but..

Why?

I could still see the love hidden in your eyes. I could still feel the tension between the both of you. I could feel the pain you emitted whenever you remember something from your past with her.

So why?

Why can't you see the feelings that I bear?

Why can't you feel the love I have for you?

And..

WHY CAN'T YOU REMEMBER ME?!

All this time... All the sacrifice.. All the time I had wasted and opportunities denied just to have you in my arms were all in vain..

So why...?

What does she have that I don't..? I'm gorgeous, I'm popular, and I believe I'm not that cruel but.... you can't see me..

This I address to you---

You broke my heart.

You broke me too.

But I will never give up on you, Rory Andre.