War~Namjin

13.

You are my salvation. Away from my dolent heart, you must flee.

Namjoon woke up with a bristling, burning pain in his head. However, the pain felt far from being caused by physical means, it felt spiritual. As if something had wounded his mind from the inside. He feared that of he opened his eyes, he would witness things that would pain him even more. But of course, we can't fade away from plights for long, and so he opened his eyes to a gentle figure holding his hands and sitting besides him. The white curtains let in some light, but his eyes spasmed, even the love from the sun being unbearable in his state.

After a moment or two, after getting used to the lighting of the place, that felt very much like his own. And the man sitting in front of him felt very much like Seokjin.

But... The bare scalp?

As he pulled his hand out of the caring grasp of the latter, the man woke up with a start, and both of them were clearly shocked. Perhaps, Seokjin more in pain than Namjoon.

"Fuck. No. This was not supposed to-" Seokjin muttered as he instinctively covered his face to hide the tears.

"Jin-ah, calm down. Calm down. Everything is alright." Namjoon said as he pulled his soulmate to his chest, letting the latter hide in the crook of his neck.

Was this the real Jinie? So... Damaged? No, this was the real Seokjinie, a little broken, but more beautiful than ever.

"Joon-ah I-"

"Hush, baby. It's alright. Let's just, sleep right now. We both got sixteen long years to explain to one other. Because quite clearly, the world has fallen around us. Let's comprehend ourselves in each other's arms before that."

Jin didn't really understand what Joon meant to say, but the offer of just laying down beside him and not thinking about much else was inevitably alluring.

Joon laid down on the bed with Jin in his arms. The latter was already dozing off, body still a little stiff from insecurities.

Joon looked down at Jin, at the now naked scalp. The head that he had always fluffed. Did Jin never feel anything when he touched his hair?

Not that it mattered anymore. He could guess that Jin had metastatic cancer, and the latter had hidden it well. They had promised to not lie, hadn't they? Well now he realized that being a liar himself, he didn't have any rights to accuse Jin. Maybe they never trusted one other truly. His mind went to the lyrics that he had once written.

I just need some time, I'm tryna think straight
I just need a moment in my own space

If you want love, you gon' have to go through the pain
If you want love, you gon' have to learn how to change
If you want trust, you gon' have to give some away
If you want love, if you

I've always tried to control things
In the end that's what controls me
Maybe that's why I'm controllin'
I wish somebody woulda told me

If you want love, you gon' have to go through the pain
If you want love, you gon' have to learn how to change
If you want trust, you gon' have to give some away
If you want love, if you want love