One More Time (Bremmy 1)

Chapterish 83

I feel itchy, my clothes spiky against my skin. What was I thinking? Maybe he didn't see me. Maybe he won't come over.

No dice.

"Emmy," he nods, smiling like he's thrilled to see me.

THE FUCKING NERVE. My eyes can't help but see his hand is still entwined with hers.

"Jay," I nod a microscopic fraction of a nod. Relax.

He seems uncomfortable. Good.

This is just like last time, I think.

"Hi, I'm Lexi." She smiles brightly. Too brightly. Like in an irritatingly sweet way.

I look at her and then at Brooks and then at Trix mouthing I'm sorry behind Lexi's back. There's something in Brooks's eyes when they meet mine. I can't place it.

I turn on the spot, without saying anything. I turn and disappear into the crowd. I want to be swallowed by the horde of masses, all drunken and high and encased in a summer haze. I wonder when I became this version of myself –the version that craves reckless abandon, seeks it out even.

I push past Travis and the plastic cup he's trying to shove into my hand. Instead I snag the bottle of cherry vodka from the table. It's already to my lips when a hand grabs my arm, trying to knock it away.

"Hey-why-wait!" I spurt bits of vodka down my chin as I yell.

Shit. My words are already slurring. I look to see who stopped me. Who is playing the cop tonight?

Brooks. Go figure.

"What do-you-want?" I blink furiously. "WHAT!?"

He looks at me with –pity? He looks at the bottle in my hand with something else –revulsion? That is sure as shit what I look at him with. "You don't need that."

"Funny, I wuz gonna say same thing to-you," I slur. I look over his head and he turns slightly to see the life-size Barbie walking toward us.

"Em," Brooks lowers his voice, leaning down slightly.

"You'res juzt the fuckin worst. You knows it." I am seconds away from tears.

"Em," Brooks says again, pleading.

"Em!" Another voice booms at the same time. I turn to see Alex walking toward me.

"Hey!" I lean into him when he hugs me. Brooks looks livid. It gives me the confidence to take another swig from the bottle.

"When did you get back?" Alex asks, his smile dazzling in the bonfire light. Suddenly, I'm inspired.

Maybe it's the drunkenness or my sudden need for reckless abandon, or maybe it's because I know Brooks will hate it –but something makes me lean back into Alex and wrap a hand around his waist.

"I just got back. You're lucky," I laugh, my eyes flirting.

"Oh yea?" Alex asks, looking suspicious. He glances at Brooks as to say sorry but then looks back to me. "Why am I lucky?"

"Brooks has told me I have to share," I say, brandishing the sloshing vodka in front of me. "Want some?"

Alex looks at Brooks again and then at me. Back and forth. I don't know what I'm doing I just know that it feels better than the alternative. It feels better than thinking about Brooks leaving tonight with Lexi. It feels better than thinking about what Trevor is doing on the west coast. It feels better than me being alone.

"Yez or do I find-some- else to share with?" I say again, putting emphasis on the right words. Giggling helps the effect.

Alex looks down at me and I can see he's trying to make a quick decision. Brooks doesn't move a muscle next to us, not even when Lexi turns up and slinks her wrist through his folded arms.

"Yes," Alex says, taking the bottle. He raises it to his lips and takes a swig before handing it back to me. I laugh and take it.

"Happy Brooks?" I raise an eyebrow, like I'm just doing what I'm told –what he told me to do. I'm sure he hears the real question.

Is he happy now that he brought her? Is he happy with what he's created for the SECOND time around?

"Let's go," I say, pulling Alex away by the hand.  He shrugs one last Sorry, dude to Brooks and then we're five feet away.

Ten feet away.

"EM!" He shouts at my back.

Don't look back.

I repeat this. I can't look. But I need to see his face. I turn as slightly as I can until I see the spot on the sand we left behind. Brooks stands there, looking directly at me through the sea of people. His eyes are alive and dark and it's almost like I see the hunger again, rising up, ready to strike. I'm reminded of a vampire. Death by vampire.