One More Time (Bremmy 1)

Chapterish 85

One call is from my mom and her voicemail is asking where I am. The next two are from Trix. Her voicemail is telling me she told my mom where I am: Staying at Meg's for the night.

The texts are a different story. Six are from Trix, one from Travis, three from Meg, two from Zoë, two from my mom, one from Alex. And there it is. At the very end. I didn't realize I was waiting for it until I see it there –the banner frozen across my screen. His name.

I don't want to open it. If I don't open it, then it could be anything. It could be I love you or I'm sorry or FUCK YOU.

Then I'm looking at myself from above –as if I'm hovering above Alex's bed, attached to the ceiling of his apartment, having an outer body experience. Nothing Brooks says will affect me. Nothing he says will matter.

I'm free.

Smiling to myself and slightly proud of myself, I swipe up on my last unread test.

Please

I stare at the singular word. I hear it on his lips.

Then all of the sudden I see his face under the shadow of a bonfire. Not from last night, but the way he looked last August –the first time I saw him after nine years apart –the way his head hung back and his laugh was louder than the ocean.

I feel the way he danced with me at the carnival. My tongue tastes like him in my mouth. He told me he loved me and I let him leave. Meanwhile I'm lying naked in his best friend's bed.

Please. My eyes can't stop looking at the word.

The shower shuts off. The squeaking knob jerks me up and out of the bed. Alex's footsteps suddenly feel like thunder against my ears. I'm grabbing up my shorts and stumbling into my flip-flop –yanking my hoodie over my head. I can only think about leaving –about getting out of here unseen.

About going away.

I step onto the second-story porch outside of Alex's bedroom. It's also his front door. The morning breeze hits my lungs, cooling down my prickling skin. I stop dead when I look over the railing.

Brooks is leaning against the side of his truck, legs crossed in front of him. His fingers run through his hair.

It's like he's waiting for something –for me. But he doesn't actually expect to find me. He knows I wouldn't do it. Then he looks up.

A pang of guilt.

A single word. Please.

The way he looks at me –it's almost like he's seeing me for the first time. But it goes both ways. It's like I'm seeing him for the first time.

All I can think of are his words I met someone.

All I can see is Lexi. Lexi touching him. Lexi kissing him.

Fury rips through me.

He has zero right to care.

Zero claim on me.

I skip down the stairs –taking them two at a time.

"You're fucking KIDDING me!" He almost screams at me, stepping into my path.

I shove past him, avoiding his glare. His arm latches around my elbow, pulling me to him.

"Actually, I'm not." I want to spit into his face. GOD. He makes me insane.

Fuck him.

Fuck me.

Shit.

The full scene comes into focus: Me standing in front of Brooks, hair a mess and clothes disheveled, tears beginning to sting the corners of my eyes. I realize I have no car –no car to drive away in. Nowhere to walk to. So I beeline for the pavement that leads to the strip of town.