One More Time (Bremmy 1)

Chapterish 87

"Well, I'm here for you. We all are," she smiles. I wonder if she means her and Meg. Or her, Meg, Travis and Nate too. Alex. Probably all of them think Brooks is a mega douche. "Yes, all the guys too."

I laugh at how she reads my mind.

"I guess it's pretty serious then. With them." I chew on the inside of my lip to try and maintain some semblance of a straight face. I don't want to know the answer, but I need to hear it. Trix knows this.

"Travis said she moved in with him," Trix says quietly and then looks nervous. Like I may lose it.

"So not too serious." I give her a sad smile.

"No ring or anything," she smiles back.

"Yet," I can't help but finish her thought. It hurts when it comes out. I don't know why. "Do you hear from him much? Any of you?"

I hate myself for asking. "Here and there. You're not the only one who sort of disappeared you know. Tenfire was the first time he came back since Christmas."

"Convenient," I say, rolling my eyes. "We must be on the same schedule."

"He talks to the guys. Spends a lot of time in LA, I think. With his college lax bros." She tries to say it with distaste, but she's too sweet for it to sound truly venomous.

"I'm sure he fits right in in LA," I say, chewing on my cheek. "Hope he stays there. I'll make sure to steer clear."

"I promise not to make you come home again," Trix says suddenly, biting her lip. "I won't ask. Won't even suggest it or think it."

"Thanks," I laugh. Can't help but think no amount of begging from Trix would make me return anyway.

"If I never asked last summer–"

"I would have come anyway. I couldn't stay away forever. I couldn't never go back, Trix. It was time." I try to make her feel how true this is. Instead I'm transported back to that night on the beach –back to when Brooks asked me "Why now?" –back to before this all started. Before my barely healed wounds were split open. It was just time. Well, time's a motherfuckin' bitch.

"And now?" Trix asks.

"And now I know there's nothing back there for me. I just needed to be reminded why I left in the first place. And why I'm not going back." Saying it out loud to another soul feels fantastic, like I'm giving Trix part of my burden. Poor girl.

"Emmy." She flips her red hair behind her head and looks at me sideways. "Don't disappear again. I know it's hard, but you left all of us last time. Texts and calls and social media –that's all great but it's not us."

"You're right." I nod. I know what she means. It's not the same. The way she's looking at me now, with her arm on mine, I'm reminded of New Years, of the prom pic we all took under the canopy.

What an actual lifetime ago.

"We can visit you. Or we can pick places to visit together. We can make new traditions," Trix rambles on now back to her animated self. "And no home-wreckers allowed."

I can't help but laugh. "Well, if no home-wreckers allowed. You've got a deal."

We hug it out. A long hug that only your best friend can give. "And thanks for coming here –to Seattle –to check on me," I smile.

"Anything for Emmeline. I just hope I'm done with the wellness checks for a while," Trix says, squeezing my hand.

"For at least a while," I say, squeezing back.