Road to Jannah

Chapter Twenty-five • Love You 'till The End

A/N: Longest chapter, last chapter. Enjoy 😊

I just want to be there, when we're caught in the rain, I just want to see you laugh not cry. I just want to feel you when the night puts on its cloak, I'm lost for words don't tell me, 'cause all I can say is I love you 'till the end.

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~ J A N N A H M A D ~

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Nothing special, nothing extravagant, nothing loud, nothing grande, not even a reception. Just the presence of a handful of friends and the Haroona's family members in the mosque we'd be wed. That's what me and Jannah had requested for.

Yes, me and Jannah are to be married and yes, I'm still in shock. That unscratchable itch of disbelief is still bugging me but in only a few hours, real, tangible proof will be sleeping right beside me in my arms and undoubtedly, it would make me believe that this is all true.

That spending these two months in the hospital with Jannah sharing her pain has granted me the blessing of spending a lifetime sharing her joy. This rocky road I have trailed on has lead me to that destination I have always yearned for and this time, as I look ahead at it, what I see is a whole life endowed with light stretched ahead of me.

My nervousness drives me to stand in front of this full length mirror I had gotten for my room only because it was soon going to be Jannah's room too. Perhaps for a moment, to trick myself into believing that I can actually see my reflection, see what I look like dressed as a groom. Jannah's groom. Cheesy I know but it's my wedding day so cut me some slack.

I spread my lips in a wide grin and wonder if this look is decent enough to greet Jannah with when we meet for the first time as husband and wife. I feel my face with my hands and somehow, what I feel makes me dissatisfied. The image of my face my touch has conjured in my mind makes me realise that that look is too creepy.

I eased my features and tried on another expression. And I know an onlooker might think me mad as I tried on several other expressions and used my touch to make up the image of what they look like in my mind, but again, it's my wedding day, the day that'll mark me starting the most important journey of my life so yeah, I deserve to be left off the hook today.

"You look as handsome as a prince Ahmadina," Mama catches me off guard and I turn in the direction of her voice, slightly embarrassed.

I didn't reply to her compliment and instead, prepared to do what I was supposed to do since all those weeks ago when she gave me this letter. I remove the folded envelope from the breast pocket of my kaftan and I hand it to Mama.

"Here," I say but she doesn't collect it and I sense her hesitance. "Take it Mama, I don't want to know whatever it is that's in the letter, it's not worth it." I offer a small yet genuine smile but Mama still doesn't collect it.

I've been contemplating deeply on the matter and I've come to the conclusion that indeed, it isn't worth it. Whatever it was, I'd rather spend my whole life not knowing than knowing something that terrified Mama so much. I wouldn't trade our relationship for anything and if she can't tell me herself, I'd rather not know.

I manage to locate my mother's hand and turn her palm upwards, placing the envelope on it. "Nothing is worth coming between you and me. I don't want to know what's in here and I really don't need to know it. All I need is for you to always be the same, to continue being here with me. All I need is for you to forgive how I've behaved with you lately. Mama, I'm so sorry for ever—" I wanted to apologise for how much of a selfish and ungrateful twerp I've been but she stops me by holding me in a tight embrace.