Chamber by Chamber // Snowbaz

Kiss Me, Kill Me

COC #22: Fandom Crossover

Harry Potter/Carry On

~ This one is short, but it was a lot of fun to write! Enjoy! ~

Baz just finished reading the Harry Potter series. (He told me they call Normals 'Muggles'. I don't know what kind of cracked up magickal universe it is- but I'm not bloody interested. Baz, on the other hand, loved it.) Baz loved the series so much, in fact, he's started to try and use the spells from the books on me. And yesterday, he called me - his boyfriend - a foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach. I was taken aback, naturally, and it didn't help when he told me it was from the books. He should know that they won't work since they're not commonly used in everyday language, yet he tries them anyway. When they don't work, he frustratedly huffs at his wand and abandons the task for a moment before setting back to it. (Admittedly, it's very bloody cute, but I'm not just going to tell him that. Penny says there's no need to further spur this along. I've started to look up the meanings of the spells on the Normal internet, and sometimes they surprise me. Yesterday I discovered he had tried to kill me by attempting to use 'avada kedavra'. (I had let myself hope that he didn't really think it would work...)

And now he's in the living room sitting with me, trying out his spells once again. "Aguamenti!" He shouts, his wand pointed steadily towards me. (Later looked up; he tried to shoot water at me.) But fuck if I don't love him. He glares at his wand and tries again with a different spell.

"Levicorpus," He says, more calmly this time. (He tried to suspend me from my bloody ankles. Crowley, this man-child.) I ignore him and go back to scrolling on my mobile.

"Why isn't this bloody working?" He grits his teeth and pokes his wand farther out toward me. "Rictusempra!" (Supposedly it would tickle me.)

"Baz, love? Maybe we should-"

"Petrificus totalus!" (Binds me from shoulders to toes.)

"-stop for the day? Love, you know they won't work, yeah?" He looks sadly at me and nods his head. I hate for him to look so defeated and sad (and knowing that I did that to him), so as he's going to set his wand down, I say, "But you never know. I s'pose lots of people read books, yeah?" He still looks solemn, but a bit less so now. He holds his wand, still unsure of himself. (Fuck me for doing that to him- he deserves a bit of wonder in his life.)

"Stupefy..." He says, unsure of himself. This one is popular enough that I know what it's supposed to do, and it right surprises me when I feel my muscles start to stiffen. Not so much that I can't move them, but enough that it's painful to try. I widen my eyes at him in surprise and grin. (He grins back, and it's just about the loveliest thing I've seen in my life.)

He points the wand near my crotch area and shouts "Engorgio!" He looks hopeful, but I don't feel anything happen. Must not be popular enough. I look it up then, and see that it's meant to enlarge things. So he tried to...

"Baz!" I reprimand him. He only smirks.

"Didn't work, then?" I roll my eyes and shake my head.

"Try the most popular one you know." I prompt. (Frankly, I'm very bloody surprised and thankful that avada kedavra hadn't worked.) He thinks for a moment and then points his wand toward me, steady and elegant as always.

"Accio boyfriend!" I feel a tug in my gut like maybe something is going to happen. After a moment of nothing, I'm shot across the room and piled on top of Baz who groans. But as I pull back, he looks absolutely ecstatic. "It worked!" I pulls me in to give me a proper snog, but once I realize an important something, I (reluctantly) pull away. (Not too far, of course.)

"Is this going to become a thing, now? Summoning me when you please?" He throws his head back to let out a laugh and then looks back at me.

"Absolutely, Snow! Now I can have you whenever I want you!" He pulls me back in for another snog.

You don't have to use a spell to have me whenever you want, I want to tell him. I tug his hair instead. There's a reason I never stopped you, even when any of them could have worked. (I knew there was a chance with avada kedavra.) Kiss me, kill me.

How can I make you see?

You don't need a spell.

You'll always have me.