Ghostwalker ▷ b. barnes [2]

xxxvi. tinkerbell

MOVING FROM ONE FLOOR TO the next, they ended up at the very top of Stark Tower. The roof, where the wind whistled and the sound of traffic echoed from below. Sam could see the tip of the Avengers 'A' . Beside her, Bucky stood silent and still.

His blue eyes were fixed on the city stretched out before them.

"It's a little high," Sam said softly. "And kinda loud. But I came up here a lot after the invasion."

He looked at her in confusion. She blinked.

"The Chitauri invasion? Loki?"

"I don't..." His voice shook a little. "I must have been under."

A pit formed in her stomach and Sam lowered her eyes. A quiet 'oh' left her lips but the sound of the traffic below carried it away. She didn't know what to say to that. It's frustrating. That she didn't know how to help him.

How to make things better.

Quietly, he moved over to the edge. Sam followed, her heart leaping up into her throat. But he didn't make a move besides that. Blue eyes stared transfixed on the world below. "I never knew New York was so large."

She chuckled. "I felt the same way."

"You've lived here?"

"Since the invasion," she said. "Or... for a few months. We've been investigating Shield for Hydra. That's how I found you."

He blinked at her. "You were in that base alone."

"Yeah, well, I've never been one for not risking my life."

"You could've died."

"Cause and effect, I suppose."

Bucky turned to face her, his fingers finding her own. Sam glanced up, into the blue of his eyes. She'd always hated herself for forgetting exactly how blue they were. She gazed into them now, determined to never forget again. "I'm alright, Barnes."

"I could've killed you."

"But you didn't."

"Smalls, I tried." His voice cracked. "I shot you."

She didn't know how to feel that he was remembering; this wasn't what she was hoping he'd remember. More of their life before, maybe. Before the train, before the fall. The pain in his eyes shook her to the very core. "Bucky, whatever Hydra did... it's not your fault."

"Hydra didn't do anything. I did."

"You did what you were ordered. You didn't have a choice."

"But I still did it."

Her eyelashes fluttered and she swallowed hard. There was so much to him that was new. So much pain and confusion. She'd rarely ever seen him sad. But this was beyond sadness. This was a ghost of the man from the war.