Falling ♡ Timothée Chalamet

09 - small

Night falls by the time my father leaves the house. I hear the door slam shut and I know that he's probably headed to a bar nearby so he can drink away the events of today.

Usually hearing my father leave the house would terrify me. Because I knew that at some point in the night he'd be back and he'd be drunk and furious and I'd be his main target. But tonight it doesn't faze me at all.

Because I have the satisfaction of knowing that when he gets back home I won't be here.

He won't torment me anymore. He won't call me degrading words and tell me I'm worthless and weak. He won't hurt me, he won't cause me anymore pain.

Best of all, he'll stop blaming me for my mother's death.

I'm free of his hold. He has no authority over me anymore. I'm my own person now.

I won't have to look for a new bruise from him every night. Instead I'll give my bruises time to actually heal and mend. Even the bruises that are buried deep within me.

'Hey, are you ready?' Aaron's deep voice fills my eardrums as he enters my room and this time I notice how he walks inside a little more naturally.

He doesn't hang out near the door, he walks towards my bed and takes a seat beside my suitcase careful as to not let the clothes tip out of the bag. For the past few hours we've been packing our things quietly, taking every last thing we own.

I don't own much, so packing my things didn't consume most of my time but what did take up a lot of precious time was packing some of my mothers things.

Her clothes are still in her closet, her jewelry still in her drawer. Even her perfume bottles are still laying around the house half full. I take every piece of her I can find and I manage to snatch a few photo frames that my father kept hidden once my mother died.

'I'm as ready as can be.' I state and I manage to give my brother a real smile, with teeth and all.

I remind myself that he is the reason this is happening. He is the reason I am going to be put out of so much misery. I can't help but thank him over and over again as he carries my suitcase down the stairs and then as helps me walk down holding me firmly.

Then we set out. Aaron texts his friend to bring his car over and once the car is parked in the driveway the two of us take off without looking back.

I don't need to bid my house farewell, I don't need to take a moment to study the way it looks because my mind so badly wants to forget it. I want to forget the white paint on the walls that were chipped off almost entirely and the miserable furniture that we haven't rearranged since my mother died.

I want to forget the smell of alcohol and cigarettes that filled every corner of the tiny house and best of all, I want to forget him.

The man that haunted my nightmares and my reality. The man that pretended to be a father in front of people but behind closed doors he was nothing but a coward who drowned himself in his sorrow rather than facing his fears.

I hate him with all my might. I hate his blue eyes that were so vividly imprinted in my mind whenever I imagined him, I hate the snarl he always wears on his face, I hate how the sound of his voice amplifies whenever he sees me.

I hate him.

The car comes to a halt and I force my thoughts to quiet down in my mind. 'We're here.' Says Aaron and he doesn't sound as excited as I feel.

I feel my lips curl upwards as I look out the window. It's a small compound, very tiny and old and probably in bad shape. There's a small garden in the middle with a broken fountain and very few flowers and a few rooms are stacked above each other creating a semi circle.