Mark and The Shrunken Fan SLOW UPDATES

Chapter 14

(Mentions of stabbing and blood, not graphic tho)

(The reader struggles with the realization they've lost control of their own actions. Will they be able to overcome the feeling of uselessness or let it consume them?)

(Your POV)
I was there again, the damn venue, like always. The muffled cheers seemed to mock me. I could enter the restrooms but Anti was likely waiting in there, that one still gave me chills. I turned around, watching the pouring rain, what if I went elsewhere. The lights around me flickered, if I stayed any longer Anti would show up.
My hands grazed the cold brass, don't run. I swung the door open, facing the storm. It stung my cheeks and exposed skin but I couldn't run, I couldn't find help, and I couldn't enter another building. I've done all of those before, running led to being chased, finding help or entering another building led to him.
It was too cold, unnaturally cold. It was his creation, his routes were always better than Anti's. What did he gain from trying to act like the good guy, he could snatch me up at any moment without notice, well, I guess that's why they brought me to the other egos. Maybe he thought I would see his side and allow myself to get kidnapped by them. I wasn't that gullible, was I?
The further I walked the more the world became unstable, the same cat would slink around every corner, the thunder roared every 25 seconds, even the rain seemed to be hitting the same. Click, clack, click, clack, Anti's sneakers splashed on the sidewalk, I knew he'd catch up eventually but for now, he had fun watching how long it would take for me to turn and look at him. 'Don't run, don't turn around, just walk.' I kept telling myself. This was going to end soon, the world was getting dimmer, the building seemed to stretch impossibly high now. Was I close to the limits?
I almost stopped when I saw the road was blocked off, a powerline laid burning on the sidewalk. Perhaps I could walk over- that went out the door as lightning shocked the powerline, causing the fire to spread fast. I jumped out of my body.
I can't stop he'll catch up. I quickly went left. Shit, a dead end. My hands began to shake, not again. I turned, he stood with a glimmering grin, a blade reflected in the flames behind him. His eye, that eye, it shined so brightly. It was almost hypnotizing. "NO" I shout echoed through the alley, my shout. I turned around, running to the end. If I climbed up on the trash can I can make it to the ladder.
It was so slippery, please just this once! I stood on top, my heart pounding in my ears. Each pump flushed more adrenaline through my veins, I could make it. I jumped, the air rushed through my hair, I was free, the bar at my fingertips. I could feel the cold metal in my grasp but it was slick. My hands were slipping away and the same freeing air rushed back, hitting me in the chest as I landed flat on my back. I wheezed, trying to get an ounce of air back into my lungs. The pain wrapped around my ribs like a corset, tightening out all the air I had left.
He stood over me mockingly, as if to put more emphasis on my pathetic attempt to escape. He raised the knife into the air and just like last time I felt it pierce my chest before...
I gasped, swinging into an upright position like someone would when they slammed their brakes to avoid a collision. The pain I once felt around my ribs and chest felt numb, like static. Another night, another nightmare. This one wasn't as bad as the others I've had in the past week. I rubbed my eyes, stretching knowing I wasn't going back to bed anytime soon.
I sighed, swinging my legs at the edge of my 'bed'. It was made using a sponge, unused. It was scratchy but plush and with the cotton shirt wrapped around it made it a surprisingly comfortable bed. My toes brushed against the chilling floor of the dresser drawer, I should put on some socks.
Surprisingly being this small you don't hold body heat well. If anti took on of the older versions of the potion I would've died of hypothermia so I guess that's something to be grateful for. Though the potion was perfect, meaning it was still cold 24/7 and the shrunken clothes Marvin gave me surely helped but I would definitely be appreciating a nice long hot shower once I was back to my original size.
I stood up, heading to the shot glass I've been using for water but found it empty. The notion of not having water made my tongue even dryer than it was when I woke up. Shit, I looked at the bell that was also in the drawer I was in. I was supposed to ring it for help but I wasn't about to bother Ethan and Mark for another nightmare and have them pity me again.
I didn't even realize tears were swelling up in my eyes until I rubbed them again. I was so, well, tired of all these nightmares. I didn't need another pity party to make me feel even more useless just for water. An idea lit in my mind. I could make it to the kitchen, couldn't I?
I made my way to the exit Marvin made, he put a lot of care to make sure I'd be able to escape if Anti or Dark were to find my hiding spot, they all did. Jack doesn't even know where I'm sleeping just in case. I exited the drawer from the bottom, there was a small hole I could squeeze through to hide in if anti did ever find my hiding spot but if that point ever happened I'd have no chance. I walked cautiously towards the opening in awe. The two beds that surrounded the dresser had to be at least 3 stories high.
'Gee if the beds are this tall, how am I ever going to be able to get up on the kitchen counters?' I sighed, what was I thinking, I could barely walk through the carpet that was chest high. I started to trudge back when a sharp voice swore out.
"Scheiße!"
It sounded foreign, perhaps Schneeplestein? What is he doing up so late? I looked between the beds. I've already bothered them plenty this past week, perhaps Schneeple wouldn't mind. I clicked my tongue, still dry.
I sighed, 'well I guess this'll be good practice if I ever get lost from the others.' and made my way through the treacherous carpet.
I practically kissed the hardwood floor when I finally made it out of the jungle of carpet. It must've been an hour, Jesus what was I thinking, Schneeps mutters quieted down a half-hour ago, there's no way he's still awake by now. I looked back, the carpet looking even more daunting, my mouth practically a desert and I felt like a sweaty pig. 'There's no way I'll get back without dying of dehydration.' I cried out to myself. I looked down the hall, the kitchen was closer than the dresser was to the door, it shouldn't be that bad. I sighed, patting my cheeks, trying to encourage myself I had a chance, I just had to do this for myself, I wasn't useless.
Despite my aching legs I begrudgingly walked to the kitchen. The hardwood floor was cold and slick, even at my small stature they still seemed to crack and creek under my steps.
The kitchen was even more daunting than the beds, looking like a block of apartment buildings. The reflection of the moon's beams on the cabinets felt eery and unwelcoming. A chill ran down my spine as I looked around my surroundings, an overwhelming sensation of dread hit me at once. I was just one small person, there wasn't anyone else around who could feel how I felt at the moment.
I shook my head, water, I need water. I'm not going to have an existential crisis over the need for water.
A walk around the kitchen showed me there were no easy ways up. 'Well shit, who doesn't have hand towels hanging off a cabinet or dishwasher, I mean, I thought that was a common practice.' I grumbled to myself. What was I to do now? I'm cold, at least an hour walk from where I was sleeping and that nightmare is still at the forefront of my thoughts. I can't give up now, I'm not useless!
I looked around, catching a glance at the mini cabinets, if I were to climb up I might have a chance. I ran over there, not wasting a second to hoist myself on the first handle. 'Jesus, I should've taken gym more seriously.' I huffed as I reached for the next one. I wobbled, losing balance. Even at my short stature, these handles were quite thin, almost like a high beam.
I tried again, my fingers brushing the handle but I would have to jump to grab it fully. I shook my head, I had no time for doubts. I bent low and sprang up, wrapping my arms around the handle. Relief flooded my mind as I hung there. I could do this!
Hoisting myself was harder this time, my arms already aching from supporting my weight. I took a moment to sit there and appreciate how high I made it. I still had 3 more to go and I was already winded from the first two. Did I expect to magically gain the stamina I had in my dreams as if they reflected reality? I guess being so small felt too unreal, how was I supposed to take this new body seriously. I wanted to be like Arriety*, fighting against the odds. I just had to be.
'I got this, we're almost there' I told myself, prepping for the next jump. I leaped but this time didn't go as smoothly as I thought it would. I jumped like I did last time but my legs shook, my leap turning into a hop. My hands that were outstretched banged against the handle above me and my foot missed the lower handle.
I was falling, almost feeling like slow motion, until I hit the floor with a thud. I gasp for air, a familiar feeling of tightness held onto by ribs, the pain worse than my mind could've imagined. I couldn't even move if I wanted to. My ears were thudding, wrapping my head in a headache that made me want to cry out but I could barely breathe.
Water dripped down my side were my bandage was, where did it come from? It was so warm, was it blood? I must've opened one of my wounds. My arm shook as I tried to put it against the wound to stop the blood flow but it felt like gravity increased, keeping me from even lifting it. I inched my hand on the ground, trying to reach the wound, the pounding of my skull blocking my vision, or was that a shadow?
Warmth surrounded me, hands, who's hands? "Little duder!" a voice shouted, Jack's voice or an ego? It didn't matter, I could barely focus as my body ached. I felt like hurling. I was set down on a cold surface, "I'll be back." I was told and I listen to the rhythmic thuds echo down the hall. The moment they left I cried.

*Arriety is a borrower from a studio Ghibli film