Drake The Notorious Killer.

Shit

My mind is blank.

That void fills me again.

No.

No.

No.

No.

It can't be.

"Did I just hear what I think I heard?" My voice is low.

"He tell you how he killed people for money?" I don't have to nod. "Your dad was on the list. He did drugs right?" I nod. Almost reluctantly, as if there's been a mix-up. "Your dad owed Drake's boss at least 10 grand. He took too long to pay. Drake was sent over to Australia. He killed him. He came back. He collected the money. Only a couple of days ago he found out it was your dad. You had some album, right?" I nod slowly. "He saw some pics of you and your dad when you were a kid. He remembered him."

I can't think.

My finger burns. I look down at it.

That dumb promise ring. I frown with rage. I want to burn it. Throw it in space.

All a lie.
All a facade.
All some game.

I want to die. I want to cut. I want to burn the ring. I want to melt it. Destroy it. Shove it down his throat.

But most of all, I want to kill him.

I rip the ring off, wanting to throw it out the window.

My heart doesn't let me. I'll keep it. But only because...

Only because...

Only because... I don't know..

***
I'm a shell.

There's a void in me.

All I'm filled with is calm rage, slowly building.

We've stopped at a house a couple of hours ago. I found out the guy who I have not seen before name is Ted.

I don't talk or reply when they ask me anything. Charles has told Ted to give me some space. Charles gave me his room since he claimed I would suffocate from fumes if I took one step in Ted's room. As soon as I was left alone, I went into the bathroom. I found a pocket knife in a drawer in my room.  I sit with my back against the door. I take off my shirt and jeans, leaving me in this ridiculous harness underwear. I unstrap it and ditch it in a corner. I drag the blade over my skin. A sigh of relief escapes my lips. It urges me on to make another slit. Then another. Then another. It leads me into a never ending cycle of cutting, feeling release then more cuts. My thighs are bloody. My wrists are too. I've run out of space. I sigh before standing in shaky legs and stepping in the shower. The sting of water on my cuts brings a feeling other than rage to me.

I wash my hair and just stand for a moment under the waters cool spray. There's knocking at the bathroom door.

"Hey, Hayes, if your hungry, we ordered some pizza." There's a moment before he walks away. I step out of the shower, clean myself up and bandage my slit skin. I pull on a bra, panties, a hoodie that doesn't have tight elastic at the wrists and some fluffy pants.

My stomach grumbles. Guess I'm doing that then. I make my way to the dining room.

Ted and Charles eat, engaging in chatter in-between. They look to me as I enter. I sit down carefully since any pressure to my wound on my thighs could restart the bleeding. I eat slowly.

Now there's silence at the table. No one speaks.

After I eat 2 slices, I'm full. I drink a glass of water before walking back to my room. I hear them start to chat again. Whatever.