Bakugo x Reader 2

12

Have you ever went against your own thoughts? Every nerve in your body screaming Don't kiss him! Keep your distance! He hurt you. Yet despite those urges and red flags your heart ignores the warnings your brain tells you out of fear? My body trembled the moment my hand lifted to touch his face. So much that I know he felt me shaking. It would be impossible if he hadn't. Bringing his lips onto mine I internally screamed at myself for doing something so fucking stupid but my heart couldn't take it anymore. My heart forced my body to act on its own. God did Katsuki hurt me.. physically and emotionally but it hurt so much more not being close to him like this and my heart knew it. I was punishing myself. Depriving myself of the one thing I obsessed over for the last 5 years. I remembered how much I cried after I stopped receiving his calls. So much that I could probably swim in the amount of every drop that left my eyes.

When Katsuki got over his shock from my bold move he closed his eyes and caressed my face to deepen the kiss, I know he felt me flinch the moment he touched my skin. But instead of me pulling away in fear I held onto his shirt for dear life. Because him pulling away and rejecting me, the way I did him scared me more. In America I felt so empty and alone. Even with Shoto and his amazing friendship was there to place the bandaid over the hole in my heart.. It wasn't enough. It could never be enough. Being here around katsuki.. the real Katsuki.. I felt complete behind the fear. I love him so much it kills me. So much my heart literally aches.

But, to finally have his lips against mine; I had never felt so at home. This search for my parents, where I come from, Who I came from, no longer mattered to me. I lived my whole life without knowing and secretly I was content.. curious of course. but content. Yet 5 years without katsuki, my world no longer shined the way it did. Colors were no longer vibrant. My life had felt so dull.  The only thing that saved me from that horrible space was the face of the people I rescued. So i continued to chase that feeling because it wasn't permanent.

Katsuki had placed his forehead onto mine and sighed deeply. "I thought I was never gonna be able to do that again." he mumbled softly. I could no longer keep my composure at this point. All the events leading up to this moment had reached the edge and sent me over my breaking point. I buried my face into my palms and sobbed uncontrollably. Katsuki pulled me into him and hugged me tightly. "No body likes a cry baby." he joked. The timing of this joke was so horrible but it was such a him kind of thing.. and lets be honest.. I'm such a sucker for him I thought it was funny and giggled a bit. "come on." he said pulling himself off the ground and holding a hand out for me. "we can talk on the way back to the room."

I willingly took his hand and used the walk back to the car as time to gather my thoughts and words. But once we made it to the car and we drove off my anxiety peeked to an all high knowing that now is the time that we talk about EVERYTHING. So i did the only thing I could do at that moment and just blurt everything out.

"I'm sorry i left to America! If i would've stayed you would have never gotten kidnapped and even if you did i would've been able to get you sooner! I'm sorry I thought the fake you was the real you because deep down I knew you wouldn't go for someone like her but we haven't spoken in like 5 years so i didn't know anymore, I kind of assumed something happened that brought you guys close together but it fucking killed me! and then when I pieced everything together I felt like the biggest idiot and failure ever because I should've known from the very beginning and you suffered this whole time because of it and I -" katsuki placed his hand over my mouth to shut me up.

"You did nothing wrong." he said finally removing his hand from my mouth. "I supported your move to America. I was proud when I started seeing you on TV. None of this.. was ever your fault. I'm the one that needs to apologize you fucking idiot. I put you in a coma. I was so angry that I was being forced to hit you.. it was either that or they killed you. I couldn't let that happen. I stayed with them willingly after a year, because they threatened to kill you. They had someone sneak into your home and bug the whole place. They knew and watched everything. I knew and watched everything. I had to obey them."

"they bugged my place in America?"

"Yea. they have some guys over there under them too. So I watched you every chance I got. I should beat you up for the amount of times you cried yourself to sleep."

"You saw that?"

"I saw everything. If you thought I left you hanging you don't sit there and cry like a baby!" he shouted "You're not weak like that!"

"And if I had moved on .. what then?"

Katsuki stood quiet.. The only thing that held him back from fully converting was you. "Well?

"I would've stayed with them." he growled. " become the villain everyone told me I was gonna be."

"You a villain?" I questioned "I don't see it."

"You and my mom are the only one who thinks so."

"and Aizawa."

"yea. Look.. I need to know what we're doing. If we're gonna take it slow, pick up where we left off or stop all together. I need to know how i need to act cause if not, I'm gonna pick you up slam you onto that bed and claim what the hell is mine."