Fear and Delight (Alastor x Reader)

Chapter 10

Your tail jerked, the man under you reaching up and barely missing your head with his swinging fists. The figure in the bed next to him shifted only slightly, a small scream that sounded muffled by water reaching over to you. Your eyes focused and you stared at the pillow under your hands. The pillow was skewered by your tails and your hands were wrapped around it as if you were choking someone. The dream was still vivid in your mind.

Your father had said something to you. He had said something about your mental state. As if you could control those damned hallucinations. As if you could stop the blood from staining the concrete it never touched or the entrails that would decorate around your room as if you were a butcher. Oh but you had turned into that butcher hadn't you? If it was real you would have been able to yell at him that it was you that made your visions a reality.

You would have screamed at them for not listening when you tried to speak up early in your relationship with James. You would have screamed at James for the pictures he would supply your parents with of your visions. There were so many tense dinners, so many tense family parties that you just wanted to be normal. They alienated you since they found you had an illness they couldn't cure. You clenched your body up, stabbing into the pillow repeatedly as cracking growls left your throat.

Someone pulled you away from the pillow and held you to them, their body larger than yours and making you feel like a child. You hiccuped softly, clawing at their back to try and move away only to be held tighter. You slowly stopped, Alastor's scent of soft rosemary and cedar filling your nose. The familiar buzz of the radio static tickled your ears, a soft hum of music coming from deep, deep within it. "Well, good morning, my dear," he sang out.

You looked up at him, your eyes widening as you took in the room around you, "This isn't-it's not my room."

"You fell asleep here, silly girl," he laughed. You stared down at his arms, starting to tremble as he tightened them a bit. "And what, may I ask, were you dreaming about?"

"I'm not a monster," you muttered. Alastor stared for a bit, sighing and letting go as he stood up.

"Why would you say such a thing, my girl? You're every bit the monster I am," he chuckled. You looked up to him and frowned, standing up and taking the pillow you had massacred.

"You're no monster," you stated. He stared at you, the smile almost gone from his face. The radio that had been softly playing sparked and the buzzing in the room got loud, forcing you to cover your ears.

Alastor let out a sigh as the noise calmed down, "Now what would make you say that, my dear," he asked quietly. You stared at him and shook your head, standing up and shifting.

"No reason," you mumbled. "I'm going to my room now."

Charlie clung to your side all day, dragging you around with her like a younger kid with ADHD. You wouldn't have minded if it wasn't for the fact she purposely made the two of you avoid Alastor. Your foot tapped as you waited for her to decide what she was trying to do. Her eyes were glued to a bunch of papers and her lips were pursed in thought. "Miss Charlie," you asked.

"Hm," she looked up and tilted her head.

"I need to go apply for another job," you mumbled. She stared for a bit before handing over a packet of papers with a smile.

"Just take a job here. You already live here," she grinned. You stared for a minute, disbelief on your face. "What? I've been mulling it over for a while and we could use someone to manage events here."

"I've never had a job and I don't have the qualifications-"

"I think you'll do just fine," she gave a broad smile, leaning forward and putting her hand in her chin. "I know it's been hard for you to find a job since you got here."

"No one wants to hire a newly fallen," you shrugged a bit. "It makes sense to me." Charlie nodded a bit and hummed.

"You'll do perfectly fine. It's not much to worry about really. It a few things here and there, Alastor is a perfect person to spread invitations and it'll be easy to get ideas from everyone here if you just put them together," she hummed. She sat back in her seat and you frowned a bit as she stared at you thoughtfully. "I wanted to talk to you about you though. You've been staying here and I know that you don't give off the 'looking for redemption' vibe."

"I don't because I have no reason to," you mumbled.

The sigh coming from her spelled her slight frustration out, "I still think it would benefit you to talk to someone at least. You know, so you don't lose your cool and all." She was nervously tapping at her desk, her movements becoming a bit exaggerated. You watched her as she started going on, "I mean, there isn't anything wrong with you. It looks like it's just a strange power flux and the way Alastor puts it you've had it since you were alive. I just think it'd be helpful to, like, explain it to someone."

"The last person I talked to about my visions that weren't Alastor or my parents raped me after drugging me," you stated bluntly. You shifted a bit, tearing up. Charlie stilled, her eyes widening and her hand going to her mouth. She got up and walked over, hugging you tightly. "I didn't even realize what he was doing. Alastor was there."

"I'm so sorry (Y/N), I didn't know," she rubbed your back as you rubbed your eyes.

"I didn't tell anyone," you hiccuped, "They would have thought I was hallucinating. Only Alastor knew because he was there. He watched it happen." Charlie made quieting noises as your arms and tails wrapped around her. You pushed your head into her chest and cling on. Her presence did feel like a worried mother and letting her hear this, after keeping quiet for so long, felt like something was let off of your chest. Charlie bit her lip nervously, staring at the door as it quietly creaked open.

Vaggie poked her head in, her scowl only deepening at the sight of you crying into Charlie's arms. Charlie shook her head as you continued, your shoulders shaking.

"Did that asshole do something again," Vaggie growled out. You jumped and rubbed your eyes, moving away from Charlie a bit as Vaggie walked into the room. She shut the door and walked over, putting a hand on your shoulder. Your stomach started to pick at you, your jaw clenching at the horrible timing.

"Alastor didn't do anything, we were just talking," Charlie smiled softly at you and made you look up. "You can trust Vaggie and me, okay? We like you being here." You blinked and glanced over at Vaggie who's scowl revealed worried.

"I mean yeah, when you're not out eating other demons," Vaggie sighed out. She crossed her arms and rubbed her temple, staring at you. "Why do you do that anyway?"

"I uh," you shifted, eyeing the two at the question, "You know, I kind of just- I didn't want to at first but then, you know." You pulled your tails close to you and started to fiddle with the ends of them, your face heating up. "It helped get rid of the schizo. Alastor wanted it as part of the deal and, well, I kind of- I started doing it on my own." Their eyes widened and Vaggie's mouth dropped open as Spanish spilled from her mouth.

"Why do you still do it here," Charlie tapped her chin, one of her cheeks puffing out.

"She died a cannibal, Charlie," Vaggie stated. She walked over to the desk and leaned on it. You started to feel uncomfortable. The two were studying you, digging into you. It suddenly felt like you were at a doctor's appointment instead of talking to potentially good friends. Charlie seemed to notice, her smile growing a bit.

"Why don't we try animal hearts," she cried out. You jumped and blinked, looking up at her. Vaggie raised an eyebrow at the other woman.

"You sure that'd work," she asked. Charlie shrugged and stared at you.

"Would you be willing to try," Charlie leaned down to your face, smiling broadly.

"It can't hurt anything," you mumbled and looked away, "Right?"

"Oh, goodie! Next time you get the hankering for food then just-"

"Now," you perked up a bit at the mention of food. Vaggie laughed as Charlie giggled and took your hands, pulling you to your feet.

"Come on then, we can go find some," she opened her door and pulled you after her.