34. b a d

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2 years later...

i just landed back in new york from a concert in LA. it still blows my mind that i'm actually living the dream life.

i was traveling with driver era for a little less than a year which really helped make a name for myself. after the last show, i was asked to do a bunch of one time jobs for some different, smaller artists that had a few shows here and there.

it's nice because work also gives me a great distraction from him. harry came out with his first solo album about a month and a half ago. i refused to listen to it because it would hurt too much. bella told me most of it was about love and heartbreak and a bunch of sappy shit that would really fuck up my mind.

i've been good lately. and i can't let my emotions get the best of that.

i'm excited to get to the small studio apartment i call home here in nyc. i miss my friends from LA, but it's fine because i have sophie here which is really all i need.

we got really close during the tour. so close is call her one of my best friends. i'm beyond excited to see her tomorrow, but for now i just want to get home and sleep.

i'm usually fine walking on the streets of new york at night, but something about tonight, i don't know, the air is different. or the vibe. i cant tell. i'm about 3 blocks from my apartment, but i'm pretty hungry so i make a stop at dean and deluca.s.

i grab the food and right when i turn around my body slams right into another. tall, muscular, and for some reason, slightly familiar. when i look up, those green eyes are starting right back at me.

i'm in shock. i'm stunned. he is right in front of me. after 6 and a half years, i'm seeing him once again.

"peyton?" he asks timidly.

"no. no, i can't do this right now." i say walking away but he grabs my hand.

"peyton please."

"NO!" i scream, tears brimming my eyes.

i put my food back, and make a run for the exit, but i can hear him right behind, following me.

"please let me explain!" he yells

"what the fuck is there to explain?? you left me 6 years ago then i see you a few years later, we fuck and then leave again.". i scream back

"no YOU left ME that night!"

"yeah and you didn't call me back."

"i wanted to i really did, but i was fucked up then. that was one of the biggest regrets of my life besides leaving your in the first place peyton." he says with a quieter voice.

"oh my! mr. harry styles, telling ME that the biggest regret of his life was leaving ME!" i say sarcastically.

"peyton please stop. i'm still me. the person you know."

"correction, used to know. you don't even know what you did to me."

"ok then tell me!"

"don't want to ruin mr. harry styles reputation do i! it's fine it's already over so no need to bring up past emotions that will once again fuck my life up."

"peyton please tell me. or at least talk to me."

"why? what does it matter?" i question taking a step closer.

"because i fucking love you! i'll always love you! i'm constantly looking at old pictures of you i took and replaying the voicemails you've left me. i never stop thinking about you. please believe me."

"no." is at letting the tears fall and turning my back to him.

"no you." he says pulling me back around, "just tell me everything. make me hurt. make me drown myself in regrets."

i don't say anything. i just grab his hand pulling it toward me as i walk back home. i'm going to regret this. but i really want to tell him everything because i know it will make him feel like shit. and i want him to hurt just as bad as i did when he left me.

just

as

bad.

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