The Victim (Book #1)

Chapter 7

That night, I decided to take advantage of the living situation I was dealt. I locked the door to my bedroom and then headed into the bathroom with my pajamas in hand. I locked that door too and breathed a sigh of relief when I was safely alone.

Turning the shower on didn't cause me too much trouble, and before long, it was sending steam into the small space and fogging up the mirror. I froze in place and listened for any signs of the boys or Charlotte, but it seemed that they were still occupied. Time to relax.

My body seemed to stiffen up unnaturally as I got undressed, but I ignored it and continued moving. I peeled my clothes off slowly and placed them in a neat pile on top of the toilet, one by one.

That's when I felt it. Millions of worms pulsating beneath my skin, crawling and burrowing in unseen paths. I had to close off the air I was breathing in, because for a moment it felt like I might throw up or gag. I grabbed a hand towel and brushed a spot in the mirror so I could see. The sheer pale nakedness of my body made my heart race and muscles tighten. I ran a cold finger from my collarbone down to my ribs, and then over the bone in my hip. I shivered from the feeling.

Nobody's here. No one is here.

Getting in the shower relieved me temporarily. A thick cream curtain to hide me. Soap to wash off all the bad. All better.

A friend had once revealed to me that she cried in the shower. That way her tears wouldn't show, they'd just fall down the drain like the rest of the droplets on her skin. I didn't like that. I think letting them fade to nothingness is worse than accepting that they're there. I don't care about external ugliness normally. I know the worst ugliness of all resides deep within us. The darkest corner in the forest of our hearts. Like a shadow, ever present.

After rinsing myself down and letting a few tears mistakenly fall, I get out of the shower and dress myself once more. It didn't feel like enough clothes, but I wasn't cold.

I got into bed and turned on my computer, starting a show that was for kids. The water dripped from my hair down my spine and onto my pillow, but I didn't bother to dry it.

My breathing started to come quicker as I wrapped my arms around myself and slammed my laptop shut.

I looked up to the ceiling.

"God, Universe, Fate, whomever and whatever else is up there... Please keep me safe." I begged.

I began to think about my clothes being off, and why it had upset me.

Tears fell and my heart raced as the panic overtook me, until sleep consumed me once more. 

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A/N If anyone has ever been through anything similar, or has felt this kind of suffering, I greatly encourage you to reach out to a friend or family member, or even a therapist/mental health professional to talk about what you're facing. And know that you're not alone.