The Victim (Book #1)

Chapter 25

I didn't tell him, needless to say. I couldn't tell him. How could I bare to see the look in his eyes as he realized I wasn't the innocent little girl he imagined, but a monster?

I told him I couldn't tell him, and he accepted it gravely. He apologized again before I ran to my room, secrets attempting to rip free from my pockets and litter the world behind me.

I sat on the bed, thankful I had somewhat of an oasis from the fear. The fuzzy white blankets tucked around me encircled my legs and assured me that I wouldn't fall or lose touch as long as I continued to hang on. I was trying.

I pulled the laptop from the warm spot where it rested on the carpet and settled it onto my lap. Google was pulled up and I was typing in a question before I knew what I was doing.

"What is abuse?" I muttered as the keyboard clicked noisily in the quiet.

Two definitions appeared.

"To treat a person or animal with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly." That was undoubtedly true. The times I left for school early or ran to my room or the backyard to escape his fists filled my mind. Punching. Slapping. Shoving.

And the second definition:

"The improper use of something."

And that was the question, wasn't it? Was I made to be abused? Was I made to be a toy, to be a pawn in someone else's game?

If you asked me a couple months ago, I would say yes. But now I thought of Charlotte, who demanded I substitute Dominic with myself and see if the fact remains true.

Was Dominic made to be abused?

"No. Never." I shouted my whisper in his defense, blood boiling beneath the surface. But then... who am I? If not the girl who was hurt, if not the girl who deserved it?

I'm Maya. I have long dark hair, and tan skin, and brown eyes. I am not tall but not short, I have a straight nose and small body. I could list facts about myself endlessly but at the end of the day, my body wasn't my identity. So... who am i?

I shut my laptop and fell back on my pillow, clutching another one in my arms tightly.

Was this what everyone my age felt? Were we all just hoping to discover who we were?

There was a knock at my door. I groaned audibly, and watched it open slowly. Charlotte poked her head in.

"How you doing?" she asked, eyes crinkling up at the corners. Why'd she have to be so damn nice when I wanted to have a teenage meltdown in peace? She walked in and came over to my bed, sitting beside me. I flipped over onto my stomach and groaned again.

"That bad, huh?" she said in a serious voice. I laughed into the pillow, hoping she couldn't tell.

I huffed a sigh.

"Well, if you ever get over your craziness, I have some good news." she said. I could almost feel her smiling.

I wanted to look up at that but remained steadfast in my stubbornness. I would not be nice, because the world would not be nice to me.

I flipped over, and let my head fall to the side on my bed.

"Okay what is it?" I asked. Her eyes lit up and it killed me. How come she had to look at me like I was the freaking joy of her life? What had her so excited?

She lifted up an open letter from her lap that I hadn't noticed her holding. "The school got me your results."

My jaw dropped and I wanted to reach and grab the paper from her hands, but instead I waited patiently and tried to calm my heart rate.

"WHAT DOES IT SAY?" I yelled, as she waited silently.

"Well, you got in." she said, shaking her head as if it was obvious. My heart leapt as I realized I'd get to go to school with the boys and get back on track in my life. He hadn't messed me up like he thought he had.

"And?" I asked, curiously.

"You skipped a grade, Maya. You're going to be a junior this year, like Caleb." She said, smile as wide as it could go.

I jumped up from my seat and grabbed her and she squeezed and held on.

"No WAY!" I shouted.

"HELL YEAH!" She said, nodding and bursting into her characteristic craziness. I'd have to ask her what she was like as a teenager at some point. I was sure it was wilder than any of the boys.

The door to my room swung open and Damon poked his head on, with Caleb.

"What's with all the yelling?" they said.

Charlotte raised an eyebrow, giving me the floor but I turned to her, pleading with my eyes. I didn't want to brag or anything! She shook her head, meaning that she wouldn't be telling them the good news for me.

I turned to the boys with a reluctant smile.

"I'm going to be a junior at your guys school." I said, biting my lip happily.

Their jaws dropped and Brooks, who had apparently been eavesdropping from his room, yelled "A JUNIOR?"

Dominic came in the room, followed by him and they crowded around me, throwing insults and praise.

"You'll be in my grade!" Caleb said.

"You'll be eaten alive." Damon replied with a laugh.

"We'll help you!" Brooks assured me.

"You have nothing to worry about." Charlotte said, hand on my shoulder.

Dominic smiled from the foot of the bed, proudly, as if to say he knew it all this time.

And suddenly, who I was didn't really matter.

And if it did, I'd have some time to figure it out.