Carla x Monty- Holiday Heartbreak

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 11TH

NOTE TO SELF: THE SWEETHEART DANCE IS IN THREE DAYS 😊!!

I just LOATHE shopping for Valentine's cards with Penny. It's the same DRAMA every single year.

"But I just gotta have the Princess Sugar Plum valteen cards!" Penny whined.

Mom had dropped Penny and me off at the main entrance of the mall while she hunted for a parking space.

"It's V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E! Not valteen!" I grumbled.

"If I don't get my Princess Sugar Plum cards, I will cry once upon a time in a faraway land, forever and ever, the end!" She whimpered.

"Well, unless you want me to drop you off at the mall's lost and found, you'd better NOT cry forever and ever!" I muttered.

"Anyway, its just a silly card that kids in your class will throw away the second they open it! So what's the big deal?!" I grumped.

"I want my Princess Sugar Plum valteens! NOW!" Penny cried.

We searched for those cruddy Princess Sugar Plum valentines all afternoon. And nine stores, five tantrums and one migraine later, we STILL hadn't found any. Every single store was sold out!

At least the mall was prepared for the onslaught. Sales clerks at every store were strategically stationed by their Valentines display holding boxes of tissues for the kids who burst into tears once they found out that the Princess Sugar Plum Valentine's Day cards were all sold out.

It was totally disgusting how most of the stores had taken complete advantage of the situation and set up huge displays with other Princess Sugar Plum products . . .

It was quite obvious they were hoping the traumatised little brats would buy an assortment of the forty-nine other Princess Sugar Plum products instead.

There was Princess Sugar Plum bubble bath, body lotion, shampoo, toothpaste, vitamins, Band-Aids, sweets, pretend glitter makeup, bubble gum, cereal, breakfast bars, peanut butter, dolls, board games, fashions, dog food etc.

Basically, you name it, they had it.

Somewhere on a remote island theres probably a secret factory where fat little purple elves with pointy little shoes, sugar plum hair and creepy beady little eyes crank out Princess Sugar Plum junk twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Kind of like that Willie Wonka guy and his chocolate factory.

Of course, when Penny didn't find the Princess Sugar Plum valentines, she quickly morphed into a wailing, slobbering, snot-nosed wreck.

But what I couldn't figure out was how the sales clerks could be so calm and peaceful in the midst of total chaos!

There were little girls crying, screaming, yelling, screeching, shrieking and squealing everywhere.

How could they just stand there smiling calmly through all of that high-pitched, eardrum-shattering noise while a couple of hundred five-year-olds threw simultaneous tantrums?

I was impressed.

Until I saw their secret weapon.

EARPLUGS!!!

Yes!

Those SNEAKY little scoundrels!!

The clerks were all wearing earplugs to protect their hearing AND their sanity!!

Anyway, Mom and I were exhausted from shopping, and Penny was an emotional basket case.

In the car on the way home I came up with a BRILLIANT idea!

"Penny, what to you think about me making your Princess Sugar Plum valentines instead? I'm a pretty decent artist, and I'm sure you'd love 'em."

Penny inmediately stopped crying and looked at me suspiciously, like I was trying to sell her some swampland in Florida - really cheap!

"But if YOU make them, they won't be REAL Princess Sugar Plum valteen cards!" She sulked.

That's when Mom winked at me. "Penny, dear, I have a wonderful idea! How about while Monty is making your cards, you can eat a big, yummy bowl of Princess Sugar Plum cereal for dinner?!"

Penny's eyes lit up. "Princess Sugar Plum cereal! FOR DINNER?! THAT would be FUN!" She giggled.

But suddenly Penny's mood darkened and she started to pout again.

"But Moooom! I just ate the last booowl of Princess Sugar Plum cereal this morning. And we don't have any more miiiilk," She cried pitifully.

Mom quickly spun the car around by doing a u-turn rigt in the middl3 of the street as I held on for dear life. SCREEEEECH!! (That was our tyres!)

"Then we'll just stop at the grocery store and you and Monty can run in and get some cereal and milk! How does that sound?" Mom asked cheerfully.

"Well . . . Okay, I g-guess." Penny sniffed glumly.

Once we were inside the store, I held Penny's hand so she wouldn't wander off or get into any trouble. Then we headed for the cereal aisle.

"Hmmm! Let's see . . ." I muttered to myself as I tapped my chin. "Princess Sugar Plum cereal with tooty-fruity marshmallows, Princess Sugar Plum cereal with princess fairy dust, Princess Sugar Plum cereal with glitter sprinkles, and finally, Princess Sugar Plum cereal with a free mini glow-in-the-dark tiara . . ."

There were so many choices I couldn't make up my mind. "Penny, which cereal do you want?" I asked as I turned around.

That's when I discovered she had disappeared into thin air!

Although, it WASN'T the first time. I broke into a cold sweat as memories of the time I lost Penny at the Nutcracker ballet flooded my brain.

"NOOOOO!!! Not AGAIN!" I shrieked as I frantically ran down the aisle. "PENNY . . . !!"

Suddenly I spotted her!

She had stacked a pile of assorted grocery items on the floor and climbed up on top of them.

Then, balancing dangerously on her tippy toes, she was reaching desperately for an item on the top shelf of a big colourful display. This is what happened . . .

She fell!

I threw myself down to catch her before she hit the ground.

Well, there was good news and bad news.

The good news was that Penny wasn't hurt.

The bad news was that it felt like I had busted my spleen or something.

Or maybe it was just that Penny had kicked me in my gut with her chunky Princess Sugar Plum snow boot when she landed on top of me.

In any event, the annual quest to find Princess Sugar Plum valentines was finally over.

And I had managed to survive yet another year.

With ONLY a busted spleen.

WOO-HOO!

😊!