MONDAY, FEBRUARY 17TH

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Due to the snowstorm on Friday, today was unofficially Valentine's Day at WDC!

Felix, Teddy and I traded valentines. And I gave them some of my homemade double-chocolate fudge, which they LOVED.

I noticed Carla staring at me in the hall this morning. It seemed like she wanted to say something but I just totally ignored her.

And in bio, I noticed she had what looked like a valentine or something stuck in her notebook. I assumed it was probably from Buggs. Or maybe even FOR Buggs.

But I didn't bother to hang around after class to find out. As soon as the bell rang, I grabbed my stuff and ran out of there like my hair was on fire!

And speaking of Buggs, I know that guy HATES my GUTS! But never in a million years did I think he would actually stoop so low as to try to DROWN me!

In gym today my teacher announced we'd be learning about swimming safety and the buddy system. okay, I'll admit it. one of my most embarrassing secrets is that I'm NOT a very good swimmer.

Just imagine how cruddy I feel when Penny is confidently doggy-paddling around in the deep end while I'm nervously wading in the kiddie pool!

Talk about HUMILIATION 😔!

"Okay, class!" our teacher began. "I hope everyone read over the handout on swimming safety I gave you last week. Because today we're going to discuss what to do if your swim buddy gets in trouble. I'm going to need two volunteers."

Buggs and I immediately gave each other the evil eye! Just the mere thought of us working together as partners was beyond repulsive.

I think our teacher must have seen our reactions and decided that making us wear the school's smelly, saggy, scratchy regulation swimsuits was NOT enough torture.

"Let's see. How about . . . BUGGS AND MONTY"

Buggs and I both rolled our eyes and groaned.

I immediately started feeling nauseous and I hadn't even swallowed any of the nasty, germy pool water yet.

"Okay! Let's do some role-playing. Buggs, you'll be the swim buddy on the shore. And Monty, you'll be the swim buddy struggling in the water."

Well, one thing was for sure. I wouldn't have to do a lot of acting to be totally convincing in THAT role.

"Actually, I was w-wondering if you maybe could pick someone else?" I stammered nervously. "I'm really not that good of a swim-"

"Come on, Monty, hustle! In the pool! NOW!" She yelled at me like I was trying out for the Olympic swimming team or something.

So I took a running leap, grabbed my nose, and did a cannonball into the pool . . .

OMG! I hit the water like a brick, It literally knocked the wind out of me. I coughed and wheezed as I paddled for my life.

"Okay, Buggs, imagine you're at the beach and you notice your swim buddy struggling in the water. What do-"

"Wait," Buggs interrupted. "Which beach is it?"

"I don't know . . . ANY beach!" The gym teacher snapped impatiently. "That doesn't matter."

"I know! How about . . . the HAMPTONS?!" Buggs said excitedly.

"Fine! A beach at the Hamptons! And you're worried your swim buddy might be in trouble. What would you do?"

"What would I do? Wow! That's a hard one. Well, for starters, I probably WOULDN'T go to the Hamptons! We vacationed there last year, and there were WAY too many tourists," He answered smugly. "Hey! Put ME on a Brazilian beach! With an air-conditioned cabana, raspberry-melon iced tea, and lots of cute surfer boys!" 

"You're completely missing the point! This is about water safety!" The gym teacher said, flustered.

How DENSE could that boy be?

"Hurry up and answer the stinkin' question, Buggs!" I yelled. "I can't paddle much longer!"

Buggs scratched his head and gave the gym teacher a long, blank stare.

"Um, is this, like, a multiple-choice question or something?" he asked, twirling his hair. "I've heard the beaches in Hawaii are to die for!"

"Getting! Stomach! Cramps!" I panted. "HEEELP!!"

"Buggs, you're supposed to be aware of your swim buddy at all times!" the gym teacher yelled. "YOUR swim buddy is possibly in TROUBLE! Now jump in the water and save him!"

"Who? ME?! I DON'T think so!" Buggs replied coolly. "I just curled my hair this morning.

"WORST! (glug) . . . SWIM BUDDY! (glug) . . . EVER!!!" I gurgled, choking on more water.

Then my head went under. I can't remember what happened after that. I guess I blacked out and my teacher jumped in to rescue me. That's what I was told, anyway. However, what I DO remember is waking up on the tile floor next to the pool.

I was surrounded by a bunch of snickering classmates, a not-so-happy gym teacher and my BFFs.

That's when I felt something weird around my waist.

And when I looked down, I discovered I was wearing a yellow doughnut-shaped inner-tube thingy with baby ducks on it.

It wasn't NEARLY as cute as the sea horse my teacher had flat out refused to let me wear in the pool just last week

Go figure!

"You're keeping that thing on for the rest of the class today. Got it, Monty?" my gym teacher said drily, "If you're having that much trouble swimming in one metre of water, you're going to need all the help you can get."

"Wait a minute!" I exclaimed. " Are you saying I almost drowned in only ONE metre of water?!! That's barely up to my shoulders! I thought for sure I was in the deep end!"

My teacher sighed and shook her head.

OOPS! MY BAD 😓!!

Then she launched into another one of her stern lectures.

"Listen up, people! Water safety is serious business! The buddy system is NO joke! Lived are at stake! To ensure that everyone completely understands these concepts, tomorrow I'll be giving you a written test! Sorry! But after what just happened here today, I really don't have a choice," she said, and glared at Buggs.

Every kid in the class groaned this time, including me.

Our teacher continued. "Please read over the handout I gave you. You really need to learn this stuff. Any questions?"

I could tell the entire class was pretty ticked off, based on the dirty looks Buggs was getting.

"Hey, don't blame ME!" Buggs shrugged and batted his eyes all innocent-like.

Then he whipped around and pointed his finger right in my face. . . 

"It's all HIS fault! Blame the DORK IN THE DOUGHNUT!"

I could NOT believe that guy just threw me under the bus like that.

AND I definitely didn't appreciate his little 'dork in the doughnut' comment!

If Buggs hadn't sat there very STUPIDLY planning his next beach vacation while watching me DROWN, we wouldn't be having a written test.

In GYM, of all classes.

It was all HIS fault.

But of course Buggs is Mr PERFECT!

And all of the CCPs  were rolling their eyes and whispering about ME!

The 'DORK in the doughnut'!

UGH! I give up!

Next time . . . 

Just let me DROWN!
😟!!

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