Planning Your Future

You're Not What I Asked For

January 20, 1991

Veronica's POV

I roll my suitcase into the hallway. "I'll see you in a few days." I tell Erika. JD drives me to the airport. "I love you." I kiss him. "Love you too." He smiles. I walk towards security. I board the plane and take my seat. I sit next a little girl and her mother. At one point the mother, who was at least five months pregnant, asks me to watch the girl why she goes to the bathroom. I agree.

"How old are you?" I ask her. She holds up four fingers. "Four?" I ask in the typical "talking to a toddler" way. She nods. She has a doll that's she's playing with. She reminds me when I was fourteen and I would babysit for my neighbors. I used to babysit this little girl named Julie. She was three. They ended up moving to Idaho because of her dad's job. She's probably about seven or eight now.

"What's your name?" I ask the little girl sitting beside me. "Michelle." She says with the slight lisp that toddlers have. "That's such a pretty name." I tell her. Her mother comes back. "Did you make a new friend?" She gives her daughter's cheek a little pinch. I give the mother a smile. "What's your name, dear?" She asks me. "Veronica." I say. "So what are you heading to Ohio for?" She sets her daughter in her lap. "Oh, I'm visiting my dad." I know how awkward it would be to tell her about how my parents are getting divorced and I'm speaking on my dad's behalf. "That's nice. Are you in college? You look around that age." She looks me up and down. "Yes. I go to Harvard." I nod. "Wow, that's impressive. You must be very smart." I shrug, "I guess."

Our conversation continues for a while until the girl falls asleep and I follow not too long after. Waking up early isn't very fun. Once the plane lands, I get my stuff and get off. My dad is waiting for me when I get to the front. I hug him and he helps me get my stuff into his car.

We get to the house. My mother isn't there. "Where's she staying?" I obviously won't call her my "mom" but I don't want to say "my mother" to my dad. "She's staying with your grandparents until she finds a place to live." He says. I nod. I put my stuff in my old room which is very empty. Only my bed and desk remains. I sit on the bed. It's weird being in this house after avoiding it for so long.

That night my dreams show her yet again. "Heather please. Why aren't you haunting Heather? She killed you." I sigh. "She's too boring now. Prison does that. You're free from there but not from me." She smirks. "Can you be bitchy to me some other night? I have a big day tomorrow." If she's going to annoy me, I should at least be allowed to get this divorce thing out of the way. "Fine. But I'll be back." She gives up. "Thank you." I roll my eyes as she disappears into the abyss of my dream world. I can't believe that in death, Heather has become my own personal Freddy Krueger. Only Heather makes me want to kill myself rather than her killing me. But maybe that's what she wants. For me to kill myself and join her in Hell.

I wake up the next morning and hear my dad speaking to someone. I walk down half of the stairs and listen. "Karen, you can't be here. Not today." He tells my mother. "Our daughter is home and I would like to speak with her." She argues. I walk down the rest of the steps to see her resting bitch face. She turns when she realizes I'm there. "Veronica. Good morning." She tries her best attempt at a smile. "What, Mother?" I say deadpan. "I wanted to talk to you." She tells me. "No. Now I need to get ready. I have an errand to run before the trial." I go back upstairs before she can say anything else.

I sit down and pick up the phone. "Hey." Heather smiles. "Hey. I don't have a lot of time but I figured I wouldn't feel like coming later in the day." I know I'll want to lay down and escape from the world after the trial. "Well you didn't have to come." She says. "I wanted to. So how's life?" I ask. "Same as usual. Parents still couldn't care less about me." She shrugs. "I'm sorry." I frown. "It's fine. At least you visit me." I look up at the clock. "I'm so sorry, I have a thing with my parents." I say. "It's okay. Go."

I sit and listen to both lawyers argue for my parents. Robert represents my dad and some man, who I've never seen before, represents my mother. Robert argues that since my dad pays for the house and everything inside, he should get to keep all of the assets. My mother's lawyer seems like he's ready to give up.

I sit down. "What is your relationship to these people?" Robert asks. "I'm their daughter." I tell him. "What is your relationship like with your father?" My dad is staring at his lap. "We get along very well." I smile at my dad. "And what about your mother?" My mother looks very uncomfortable. "We've never gotten along very well." I bite my lip. "Why exactly is that?" Robert presses. "She's never been very considerate of my feelings. Nor has she been very nice to my father." I say. "What does your mother do to help around the house?" My mother puts on hand to her face and rubs her temples. "Not very much. Mostly she just tell us what to do." I know I sound harsh but I'm just being honest.

The judge comes to a decision. "Mrs Sawyer seems to be quite popular here in Sherwood, but in terms of domestic disputes, she does not have a very strong case in receiving any of the assets inside the Sawyer household. Therefore I declare that all property and assets in this case go to Mr Sawyer." He bangs his gavel. "Case dismissed."

My dad takes me out to dinner to celebrate. Once we return home, my mother is waiting at the front door. "Karen, you can't be here." My dad sighs. "Victor, I need to talk to our daughter." She demands. "No thanks, Mother." I try to walk past her. "Veronica please. Just hear me out for once." I sigh and bring her to the living room.

"Okay Mother I'm listening. What do you want?" I cross my arms. "Look I know I haven't been the greatest mother," She starts. "That's the understatement of the year." I scoff. "But that doesn't mean we can't change our relationship now." She tries to touch my hand but I pull away. She sighs, "You're not what I asked for. And for a while I wanted to take it back." She tells me. "Wow that makes me feel so great. I've always wanted to hear my mother tell me that she didn't wanted me." I laugh. If I'm being honest, her saying this hurts more than anything she's ever said to me in a moment of anger. "Can you leave?" I say through the lump in my throat. "Veronica please." She begs. "You know what? You can stay. I'm going to Jill's." I get up and drive to Jill's.

When she opens the door, a smile comes to her face. "Veronica! I'm so happy to see you." Then she sees my face. "What's wrong?" She puts a hand on my arm. "I just needed to get away from my house. My mom showed up and things are weird." I tell her. "Come in." She brings me to the couch and sits me down. "How is college?" She sets her hand on mine in the motherly way she's done since I met her. "It's good." I nod. "Do you want something? Coffee, tea, water?" She asks me. "Water is fine." She goes to the kitchen to get me some. Her leaving me alone makes me remember the conversation that just happened. My mother told me she didn't want me. I may hate how she treats me but the fact that she said that so genuinely, hurts a lot. I'm apparently "not what she asked for" which hurts more than anything Heather Chandler could ever do to me. Because this is coming from the woman who birthed me.