The Anarchy Logs

☕ | Conversations on Crack | ☕

Hi, my name's Jared, I'm 19, and I never learned how to fucking read ✌️

O̶o̶p̶s̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶r̶o̶–̶

Um, more funny conversations 👍

I'm running out of crack to snort for these convos . . .

『· · · ✎ · · ·』

Rose: "How do you know what your mom feels like . . . wait-"

『· · · ✎ · · ·』

*talking about who can get out their uno reverse cards faster between me and Allen*

Allen: "I can whip mine out faster!"

Rose: "Did you hear that? He can whip his out faster."

*ensue giggles from me and Rose*

Allen: "At least I have one!"

My teacher, who isn't even talking to us, says:

"Not anymore . . ."

*cue full on laughter from me and Rose*

『· · · ✎ · · ·』

Allen: *walks into classroom as third hour starts*

(Teacher wasn't in the room)

Also Allen: "So guys, I have a question for y'all: is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable?"

Class: "Fruit!" (Someone said both-)

Allen: "If a tomato is a fruit, then that means that ketchup is a smoothie . . ."

Me and a couple of other kids: *start clapping and whooping*

Allen is truly a hero 😤👌👌

『· · · ✎ · · ·』

Kitty: "Protect Master Eggman . . ."

Also Kitty: "Get tricked by Doctor . . . WAIT–"

Me: * W H E E Z E *

『· · · ✎ · · ·』

AR: "You know what I have that you don't?"

Me: "A dick?"

AR: ". . . I mean, you're not wrong . . ."

『· · · ✎ · · ·』

AR: "Do you know how hard you have to be slapped to see someone else's God?"

『· · · ✎ · · ·』

We were doing a serious trivia competition against another school. The school – called Union – chose the subject Literature: Dr. Seuss.

Judge: "What is the book that goes through an adventure of life?"

Union Kid (Dustin): "Depression."

Omg, this kid is great 🤣🤣

『· · · ✎ · · ·』

AR and I were in art class, working on wire sculptures when this happened.

AR: "I'm wearing a wire! Oh, wait. No, I'm not. I l-ired . . ."

(He tried to incorporate the word 'wired' into 'liar'. That caught me so off guard that I spit out the soda I was drinking XD)

『· · · ✎ · · ·』

*driving home from picking up dinner*

Dad: "I don't want my cold to turn food! . . . I mean–"

Dad, you've been smoking too much weed . . .

. . . can I hit some of that? :0

『· · · ✎ · · ·』

AR: "I have to think . . ."

Me: "You can't do that period."

『· · · ✎ · · ·』

Allen: "Wassup, fuckers!!"

Me: *randomly blurts out* "That's not my name!"

Me, Allen, and AR have never laughed so hard at something so random and stupid 🤣🤣

『· · · ✎ · · ·』

(Wassup, Fuckers 2.0!)

Allen: "Wassup, fuckers!"

Me: "Fuck her? I barely know her!"

Allen: *snickering* ". . . Shut up . . ."

『· · · ✎ · · ·』

McEntire: "Don't worry about being single! We're single, but we're just single together!"

My partner is the best person ever 😔👌

『· · · ✎ · · ·』

Me: "That anime is addicting!!" *talking about the anime Ouran Highschool Host Club with Zera*

Brody {Friend}: "What anime is addicting?"

Me: "yOUr MoM!"

『· · · ✎ · · ·』

Random Dude: *talking to his random friend, shouting in hallway* "How many cavities you got??"

AR (who wasn't even a part of the conversation): "A lot!!"

『· · · ✎ · · ·』

Austin {Friend}: "Every morning to start my day off right, I default dance."

Me: "Every morning to start my day off right . . . I go back to sleep."

『· · · ✎ · · ·』

Me: *imitating Sonic for a comic my friend Kitty made* Wait, that's cHeATiNG–

Brody (who we weren't even talking to): Diamond, that's cheating!!

Me: Yeah, I'm cheating on McEntire with yOUr MoM!!

『· · · ✎ · · ·』

I'm so funny ✌️

Keep on shining my little gems and have a lovely day! ✨

— Diamond out! 💎