I'll Stand Behind You (Kylo Ren x Reader)

5- Walls

Phasma?" You ask the female, "shouldn't they be back by now?"

The large storm trooper looks at you from across the dining room. You had been patiently waiting for Kylo to get back for dinner.

"He's.." she sighs, "he's already here."

"Oh." You say, not realizing how sad you sounded.

"It's not you, your highness." She quickly says, "he's been with the girl. Interrogation. She has some valuable information."

You can't help but frown, sure he was torturing the girl not kissing her, but it still made you a bit jealous.

"I'll head back to my room then."

"Do you need an escort?" she asks.

"No."

~time skip~

When you enter the room, Kylo is there, sitting on the bed. Helmet off. You couldn't see his face because his back was towards you.

"Commander?" you say. "Are you, are you okay."

He reaches out and puts the helmet back on. Your feeling drop, realizing that the morning meant nothing to him.

"Who let you in?" His voice sounds sad.

"I live here." You remind him. He doesn't say anything. "I heard you did interrogation to the girl."

"Why do you care?!" He snaps at you.

"Honestly I don't, I don't have a damn clue what's going on in this galaxy nowadays." you say, trying to keep your voice calm, "did everything go okay, though?"

"it's none of your business." He growls.

You roll your eyes. You had literally spent all day waiting to see him. And he was acting like an asshole.

"You said you'd have dinner with me." You plainly point out, a bit of annoyance lacing your words.

"I have better things to do."

You gape at him, your personal defenses coming home, "well excuse me for trying to talk to you!" You shout. "Damn it!"

You sit on a chair, "since I've gotten here all I've been doing is trying to have a NORMAL conversation with you. But no, it's always me talking like and idiot and you staring at me with that damn mask on." your voice was stern and loud.

"I thought we were over the whole mask thing." he growled.

"Oh!" You laugh out loud, "YOUR GOING THERE?!"

"YES IM GOING THERE!" He yells back, standing up from the bed and tightening his fist. "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!" He screams.

"FUCK YOU!" You scream back. Quivering with rage.

Kylo kicks the bed, splitting the frame in half. He uses his fist to punch the wall, "I WONT BE SPOKEN TO LIKE THIS BY- BY A WOMAN!"

"IM YOUR WIFE YOU BASTARD!" You push roughly on his chest which makes him stumble backwards.

Not the right move. You knew he was stronger than you, but the small shove obviously hit a nerve.

his body was shaking, you felt your face pale, and in one quick movement his lightsaber was out, inches from your face, it's hot glow flickering across your skin.

"What are you gonna do, REN?" You snarl at him, using his sir name. "Torture me like any other person who gets in your way? Like you did to Poe. And to that girl?"

He flinches.

"I was beginning to..." you try to find the right words, "tolerate you." You step closer to him, "to think that I was looking forward to having dinner with you." You spit out.

He looks down at you, his shoulders slouching, his angry shaking was slowing down, "why?" He whispers. He looks away again.

"I don't know." You stiffly respond, "but you're a monster. Just look at yourself." Your adrenaline begins running out, and your breathing becomes heavy. Sweat beads down your face from the lightsaber which was still inches from killing you.

He closes up his weapon, you sigh in relief.

"I am a monster." He says softly. "A monster with a mask."

He crumbles down and sits on the ground, you were breathing heavily above him, he was giving you the high ground. (Skskskskss)

"When I wear this mask it makes me feel more in control, the man inside isn't Kylo Ren, it's someone weak and foolish."

You sigh and squat down, "why could the scavenger girl see your face?"

He looks up, and tilts his head, wondering how you knew.

"I may not have your force power," you say with a small smile, "but it's obvious. So why can she see your face and not me?"

He doesn't answer.

"What's the difference between she and I?" You press.

"The difference is that I'm not afraid of her." He softly replies, the anger diminishing from his monotone voice.

You furrow your eyebrows, "a rebel girl from Jakuu is LESS scary then a princess?"

Kylo nods his head, "she doesn't scare me because I know she can't change me."

"Change you how," you whisper.

"You scare me because whenever I'm around you I feel the light. I feel the goodness in myself, in my past self."

"How do I do that to you?"

He laughs softly, "you don't know a lot of things, and you don't know how often I smile when I'm in your presence."

You timidly reach out to take his hand, flinching when you come in contact with his skin. He looks up at you.

"Why are you afraid of it? Of the light?" You ask.

"It's doesn't want me. I'm to far gone." He mutters, "you said yourself I'm a monster."

You wince, you regretted calling him that.

"You told me that I wouldn't like who's under the mask," you say, "but I don't like who's wearing the mask. He's the monster I know you aren't."

"You barely know me." He says, his voice broke. "You don't know me."

"I want to know you," you softly say, squeezing his hand, "the you under all the anger, hatred and metal."

"Who do you expect to see if you do?"

"The real you."

The two paces of your breathing fills the room, the silence, overwhelming the atmosphere. Kylo drops the lightsaber he had been clutching and reaches up to take off the mask. With the hissing sound he begins to pull it off his head.

Full, dark locks fall to his shoulders, and you rest your gaze on his face. He stares back at you, emotionless. You reach out to touch his cheek. He flinches slightly, but doesn't resist the contact. Beauty marks specked his face, and his eyes were as big and brown as the eyes of a puppy.

He's beautiful.

His eyes widen. You scoot closer to him, moving your hand up his face to feel his hair. His eyes close at you feel through his mane, his breath become uneven, and his jaw tightens. He was so exposed it hurt him.

"At least your hair products are going to good use." You say, smiling.

He laughs and opens his eyes. It was the first time you seen him smile. He puts his hand on top of the one that rested on his cheek. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, and kicked the bed, and punched the wall, and also threatened you with my saber."

"I'm sorry too," you say, "you're not a monster."

You lean your forehead against his, "and just for the record, I like what's under the mask."