Why Am I Elena Gilbert?

Chapter 17 - Of Cuddles and Waning Rituals

Gilbert Residence

Tonight is when the ritual is supposed to be. Damon as been going back and forth between watching Stefan and trying to move into the house.

Daddy John is not impressed of course, but I don't really care about that.

It's early morning right now and I can practically feel Damon's eyes on my pretend sleeping person, I don't understand why he's been so paranoid.

Does he expect ripperish Stefan to come in and drain me or did something else happen that I missed?

"Day, why are you stalking me while I'm trying to sleep in?" I ask him quietly.

I hear him chuckle quietly "Because, I'm not sure I can leave you alone."

"Why?" I ask confused.

"You do reckless things." Damon says simply.

I think about that, "I do not." I tell him, what a brat.

Damon replies heatedly "You do too Lena, you got hit twice at that party, which I never got to yell at you about." He huffs, "Do you know how badly I wanted. . . No. . Not wanted. . . How much I WANT to kill the mayor all the time now? Everyday, all the time I'm wanting to kill him. Or how about how I randomly get urges to kill Matt now? Sure Matt didn't mean to hit you, but he still marked you and unless you want me to kill them both you'll have to put up with me staying here." He finishes looking, huh, that happened awhile ago, why does it make him so upset.

ughh, I just wanted to protect my new friend.

I sit up in bed and say dejectedly "it's not a big deal, I didn't even cry!" I finish happily with.

Oh no, now his eyes are narrowed now, I fight the urge to roll my eyes at him. I do love his eyes though, so shiny, so blue!

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask him frustrated and with my arms crossed over my chest.

"What happened to you Lena?" He asks me seriously.

I stiffen instantly and say defensively "Well, I fell down the stairs and woke up here."

He raises an eyebrow and says "You know that's not what I meant."

I narrow my eyes at him and snap "Nothing's happened to me."

Next thing I know he's sitting at the end of my bed just looking at me, then he says "You're lying."

"I know, I'm sorry. It's just. ." I feel my words get caught in my throat. I turn my head away from him. I can't talk about this.

"Whatever it was, was it. . . Was it a one time thing or. . .or something that happened continuously?" He asks me, his voice strained and hard, like he's fighting a snarl.

"What's done is done Day." I tell him quietly.

He snarls, I can almost feel his anger "You're going to need to let it out someday Lena."

"I can't, I can't, it'll mean. . . I can't, I can't Damon" I tell him brokenly.

He pulls me into a hugs as he runs his fingers through my hair and then I can't stop it, I haven't even told him and I'm crying into Damon.