Why Am I Elena Gilbert?

Chapter 40 - Of Rituals and Where the fuck am I?

Gilbert Residence

I'm in the bathroom getting ready, wondering about the ritual. What it'll feel like and if it will actually send me home. I would love to see my family again, I miss them.

A part of me wishes to stay, the part that feels almost like it's tethered here, to my boys, to my aunt and my brother. I guess I've began to feel like they are my family too.

I walk down the stairs to the kitchen still in my black fluffy pajama pants and green tank top I run my eyes as I start grabbing things to make pancakes.

I bend down to grab a pan and when I stand up I see someone beside me suddenly, I jump up and whack him in the head with a frying pan then I notice it's Damon.

"Ow" Damon says while rubbing his head with a frown on his face. "What was that for?"

"Sorry" I tell him sheepishly while rubbing the back of my head.

"I thought you were an intruder or something." I say as set the frying pan down and shift nervously. Part of me wonders if he'll retaliate, it probably hurt him.

Damon sighs as he rubs his head "it's fine, I guess. I just did not see that coming. Good hit though."

I snort and say sarcastically "I'm glad you approve of my pan hitting skills Day."

I sigh and apologize again "I am sorry though, I didn't know it was you and then I just saw someone there and I am really sorry."

He shrugs it off and rolls his pretty blue eyes. "It's fine Lena, I shouldn't have just appeared in front of you I guess. I just really wanted to be with you right now."

"It's fine. I hope you will like the real Elena if she comes back." I tell him truthfully as I get the pan ready to make pancakes.

I feel Damon behind me as I get the pancake batter ready. I turn to face him and I see that dark look on his face I haven't seen since I first met him.

"Are you okay Damon?" I ask him with frowned brows.

He places his hands on my shoulder and pulls me into his chest, I freeze for a second and then he starts running his fingers through my hair and I relax while letting out a breath.

"I. . You can't die." Damon snaps suddenly as he tightens his hold around me and I stiffen. As he whispers into my ear softly "I won't hurt you  Lena, but you have to understand that I cannot let you die. You can't. You're mine, you're, you're ours, as much as I'd prefer you to just be mine, you are ours."

My heart is beating harshly in my chest and I pull away from him, I'm not good enough for this, he probably likes me as a friend. Sometimes friends are possessive of friends. . Right? "We're all friends Damon, it makes sense I guess that none of you want me to die."

I go to turn away and he grabs my bicep and he says sharply "Don't" as he tugs me to him.

"Oomph" leaves my mouth as I'm slammed into his chest. I stare up at him with wide eyes but before I can say anything else his lips are hard against mine.

My heart beats rapidly in shock and then I turn my face away from him but he hasn't let go of my bicep. I can't stop the question from coming out of my mouth as I ask him sadly "why would you do that?"

His fingers tighten around me as he goes to speak "Because I care about you Lena and damnit, I love you alright?"

I shake my head and try to back away but he doesn't release me, he grabs my other bicep as well so I can't turn away "You can't." I say sharply.

"I do." He snaps at me. "I love you. I care for you. You have to come back after the ritual do you understand me."

"You shouldn't want me." I snap back at him. "You can't want me." He hasn't let go of me yet.