Marks of the Soul: Exo x Reader

Chapter 14

Y/n POV

"You don't have to respond Y/n," Kyungsoo whispered, "I know you don't feel the same way."

"Kyungsoo I-."

"Y/n, I don't need your pity, just pretend this conversation never happened," he walked away.

When his footsteps disappeared, I fell to my knees. Tears streamed down my face, I don't know why I was crying, but I was. I just felt numb, like I'd never smile again. Is this what heartbreak feels like or do I just feel guilty? I don't believe I've ever loved anyone, I had a crush on Baekhyun, I have a crush on Sehun, but I've never loved anyone. I'm probably just guilty.

"Why did I tell him to get over his first love?"

I've never even had a first love and I was telling him to get rid of his feelings like how you'd throw away trash. I don't understand how he feels. How did I not realize he was in love with me? Was I such a self absorbed brat that I never noticed how others felt about me?

"Do I even know how I feel?" I mumbled.

I slowly pulled myself off of the ground. I didn't deserve to feel bad for myself, I wasn't the one who had just had her heart broken. No, I had broken someone's heart. I was a hypocrite. I scolded Kyungsoo for breaking Mina's heart, when I myself was breaking Kyungsoo's heart this whole time.

I walked out of the courtyard with my head held low in shame. I made my way to my car and drove towards the karaoke place where my friends and I were celebrating after the talent show.

"Guys, Y/n's here!" Jongdae announced.

I nodded and slumped down into a chair. I quietly watched as my friends took turns singing and dancing, but I didn't make a move to join. I was exhausted, but I wasn't going to ditch them.

"Hey Y/n," Jongin looked at me, his eyes full of worry, "are you okay?"

I faked a smile, "I'm fine Jongin, just tired."

"You're lying," he mumbled, "just tell me the truth."

"Jongin, I'm not lying."

"Yes you are, so we're gonna go talk," he gave me a serious look and pulled me into the hallway.

I didn't resist because I knew it would make no difference. When Jongin was serious about something, nobody could stop him, not even me.

"Y/n, what's on your mind?"

"Nothing, I'm just tired," I retorted.

He sighed, "stop lying to me Y/n, I'll always know."

I frowned, "okay Jongin I'm not fine, are you happy now?"

Jongin's POV

"No, if you're not happy neither am I."

"Jongin, your happiness shouldn't depend upon me," Y/n scolded.

Why not? Y/n was the nicest person I knew, even if she pretended to be big and tough, I knew she was a softie at heart. She was my first friend here, even if she really tried to get rid of me at first. So, why can't she be my happiness?

"Y/n just tell me what's wrong."

"I don't wanna talk about it," she whined.

I got closer to her face, forcing her to look at me, "Tell me."

She shook her head, "Uhuh."

"Tell me or I'll tickle you to death," I threatened.

She scowled, "Just let me suffer alone like the terrible person I am."