Pretty Amazing Grace {Ryan Blaney || Sequel to Sweet Caroline} ✔️

seventeen

i'm going to put a trigger warning on this chapter for mentions of abuse and victim blaming.
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Lydia pulled her car to a stop in front of a familiar house -- surprised that even after all this time, it still looked exactly the same as it did when she was a child.

Coming here today had been impulsive -- even though she had told Ryan she would go, she hadn't actually planned on it. But this morning, she had the urge to see her mom again and Ryan was more than happy to take Caroline to the shop with him today. So Lydia made the drive back to her hometown.

Lydia was scared, unsure of what to expect from this encounter with her mother. But she came anyway, hopeful that maybe time had truly healed them both.

Letting out a shaky exhale, she turned her car off and stepped out. Eyeing the perfectly manicured lawn, she climbed the steps front steps to the front door.

She raised her hand to knock but the door swung open and Lydia came face to face with her mother for the first time in over half of a decade. Her hair had grayed, deep wrinkles cut through her face but her lips were still pursed in the same disproving way Lydia had always remembered them.

"Amelia." There was no smile, no happiness that her only child had returned back home.

"Mom." Lydia forced a smile as she started to wonder if this had been a mistake. Her relationship with her mother had always been strained. Her mom was a perfectionist, always expecting it from her daughter. Kyle had given her a way out of the house, away from the hovering and constant criticism.

They stood there in an awkward standoff for a few minutes, Lydia was unsure of what to say to her mother. She had felt bad about only calling her once a year -- with a vague message about how she was still safe and doing well. But she told herself that she couldn't tell her mother more in fear that she'd let details slip to Kyle, who no doubt made sure to keep in touch for that very reason.

Her mom stepped to the side, motioning for Lydia to come into the house.

"I'm sorry for just dropping in." Lydia apologized as she stepped through, into the foyer.

"Is there something you need? Something you want?" Her mom crossed her arms. "It's been over six years since I last saw you."

"About that." Lydia moved through the house towards the living room, sitting on the same sofa she would sit on to watch cartoons as a child. "I'm sorry about that. But I had to."

"What do you mean that you had to?" Lydia could already sense the annoyance in her voice. "You left Kyle. You destroyed him, Amelia."

"He hurt me, Mom. He threatened to kill me." Her voice shook. "I had to leave or he would have killed me." Lydia didn't know what she had been expecting, she had always hoped that her mother would see her bruises, see the way Kyle gripped her arm and help her but her mother had always turned a blind eye -- oblivious or in denial, Lydia was never completely sure.

"No." She shook her head. "I don't believe that."

Tears welled in Lydia's eyes. Even though she had been expecting denial, it still felt like a slap in the face and a kick to the gut. "But it happened. Didn't you see the bruises on my face?"

"He had a little temper but you were always mouthy." Lydia's eyes widened at her mother's insinuation.

Anger surged through her, that her mother had the audacity to blame her for her abuse. "I didn't deserve to be beaten within an inch of my life." Lydia hissed.

"He didn't deserve to be left, to be abandoned the way you abandoned him. You left him a broken man, Amelia." Her mom's voice rose. "He's in jail because of you."

"Wow." Lydia breathed. "You really think that? I would beg for my life, Mom. And he'd laugh at me."

"Maybe he was troubled." Her mother conceded. "But he still didn't deserve what you did.." Her mother's face brightened a little. "You could still reconcile. I talked to him last week and he still loves you. I know he'd forgive you if you talked to the parole board on his behalf."

"No." Lydia choked out, standing up. This conversation was over. "I will never reconcile with him, with my abuser. I'll talk to the parole board and make sure they know what a monster he is."

She shook her head, making her way to the door. This was a mistake -- she should've just stayed away. But there was a part of her that hoped maybe her mother would've listened, that she would have tried to understand. That time would have changed things, time would've allowed her to see the bigger picture.

But Lydia was wrong. And because of that, she could feel like the dam had been broken and she was struggling to keep herself intact. Somehow she had to make the five-hour drive back.

"Amelia." Her mother's tone was a warning, Lydia recognized that she was about to be scolded.

"My name isn't Amelia anymore." Lydia shot back, her mother's eyes widened. "I have a whole new life, Mom. I'm not Amelia anymore." Lydia backed up towards the door. "You have a granddaughter who you will never get to know. This is the last time you'll ever hear from me." There was a distinct shake in her voice but she didn't care.

Lydia didn't wait for her mother to say anything. Instead, she pulled the door open, slamming it behind her. Her footsteps were heavy as she hustled down the steps towards the safety of her car.

Using all her willpower to stave off the memories that wanted to fill her brain, she turned her key in the ignition. Grabbing her phone, she found a playlist to drown the thoughts out, to keep them at bay.

Lydia had no idea how she was going to handle this, how she was going to process this while shoving all of her trauma back into the box that she had locked them in for all these years. She spun the volume dial up, focusing on the beats and music hoping that as she drove further from this house, from the town that had trapped her and nearly killed her, the thoughts would fade and she would be okay.

Hot tears slipped down her face, the memories seeping in her brain. She tried to push them away but instead, they washed over her, overwhelming her.

But Ryan's and Caroline's faces flashed in her mind, reminding her that things were different now. That she wasn't Amelia anymore, she wasn't the girl who feared for her life.

She was Lydia, she was loved and valued by Ryan and Caroline. She was safe now and nobody could take that away from her.

And somehow that gave her enough strength to make the drive home.

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