Pretty Amazing Grace {Ryan Blaney || Sequel to Sweet Caroline} ✔️

twenty-nine

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"What?" Ryan choked out. "How could they have found your Instagram when I didn't even know you had an Instagram account until today?"

Lydia shrugged, scrolling through the comments. "Some of these fans are vicious --" She stopped mid-sentence before letting out an "Ah."

"What?" Ryan peered over her shoulder at a picture that Chase had posted in his story of he and Caroline at the zoo -- both he and Lydia tagged.

A wave of anger washed over Ryan. Chase was the king of privacy and he had invaded theirs -- opened Lydia up to attacks from fans that had no idea what was going on. Ryan couldn't understand what had been going through his head when he posted that story.

"Hey." Lydia's voice grounded Ryan, pulling him back from his thoughts. "It's okay."

Ryan shook his head, sitting on the edge of the bed. "No. You shouldn't have to deal with vicious fans and neither should Caroline. I just don't understand why Chase posted that picture on his story." Ryan buried his face in his hands, feeling himself starting to crack a little.

He felt like all of the control over his life that he had fought so hard to get back from Stacy had been taken away in one fell swoop. He hated that, hated that he didn't get to choose how to introduce Lydia and Caroline to his fans. He was kicking himself for letting his plans to tell his story on the podcast fall to the wayside -- all of this could be avoided.

"Maybe you should call him?" Lydia suggested. "Tell him how you feel."

Ryan's stomach knotted at that suggestion. He had never liked confrontation, even before he and Stacy had started dating. But now he was afraid of confrontation, especially involving Chase.

Chase was always the most level-headed of his friends, that was probably why they had been so close. But Ryan couldn't help but worry that Chase could only keep his level-headedness for so long, his patience worn thin -- old anger bubbling to the surface over Ryan's abandonment.

"I wouldn't even know what to say." Ryan murmured with a shrug, feeling deflated by the situation.

"You could just tell him how you feel?" Lydia suggested. "I think he'll understand."

Before Ryan could tell her he had no idea how to put his feelings into words, there was another knock on the door. His stomach tightened again and he really wanted to tell Lydia to ignore whoever was here but she was already halfway down the stairs when he opened his mouth to tell her.

"Chase." She said loud enough for Ryan to hear. "Is everything okay?"

Ryan couldn't make out what Chase was saying, his cue to enter the conversation. Willing himself down the stairs, he knew that whatever was said -- he'd have to be okay with it. His therapist always liked to remind him that he couldn't control the outcome of everything and Ryan was trying to be okay with that.

"I meant to post that picture on my close friends' story." Chase blurted out once Ryan had stopped at the bottom of the stairs. "I never meant for anybody outside you guys and my family to see."

Ryan nodded slowly, the anger morphing into guilt -- hating that he had jumped to anger before he knew Chase's intentions. He should have known, should have trusted that Chase hadn't been careless about their situation.

His therapist also liked to remind him that not everybody was searching for ways to hurt him, mining for information to use against him. And that his tendency to turn to anger was a defense mechanism, the brain's survival instinct kicking in.

Ryan desperately wished he could turn it off.

"I took the story down." Chase continued, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Lydia said you were really upset and I know sorry doesn't cut it but..." Chase's voice trailed off. "I'll see you later, okay?"

Chase turned to leave -- his shoulders drooped in defeat.

"Wait." Ryan's voice made Chase pause. "I'm not mad at you."

Chase spun around in surprise. "You're not?"

Ryan shrugged. "I mean, maybe a little at first. But it was an accident. Besides, it's not your fault that fans can't seem to handle the idea of our personal lives."

Chase snorted lightly. "Isn't that the truth?"

Ryan couldn't help but laugh, Chase's laugh quickly joining his. Through the laughter, the familiar feeling of gratitude washed over him.

He knew this was his chance to tell Chase that he appreciated the way Chase had re-entered his life like he had never left — never holding it over him. That he appreciated how he had gone to him when the news about Caroline broke and he had never left his side, for being there for Caroline like he had known her from the very beginning.

He cleared his throat, searching for the words. "Thank you." He managed to choke out. "You should hate me and you don't. And I don't really understand why but thank you."

Chase's face softened. "I never hated you. I was angry for a while but..." He shrugged. "It was out of your control. I just wish I would have reached out a long time ago. Maybe I could have helped."

Ryan shook his head. "I probably would have lied to you and told you everything was fine. It wasn't until I got into therapy that I realized what she was doing to me was abuse."

Chase nodded slowly. "I'm glad you got out. Look at you with Lydia and Caroline." Chase grinned. "I love that kid. I'm not a kid person but she's so much fun."

"You're one of her favorites." Ryan couldn't help but grin back. "You made her day today."

"I'm looking forward to the next time. Maybe you'll let me take her for a plane ride." Chase shot a glance at Lydia who was hovering in the doorway.

"We'll see about that." Ryan chuckled a little. He trusted Chase's piloting skills but he wasn't sure Lydia would.

"Right." Chase shifted. "I should probably get going -- I have to get up early to fly back. But I'll catch you around." Chase turned to leave before pausing, turning back towards his friend. "Answer your damn phone sometimes. I worry about you. And you too." His eyes settled on Lydia.

Lydia smiled back at Chase. "I appreciate that. We'll see you soon."

With a wave, Chase was gone.

Lydia turned to Ryan with a grin. "See, that wasn't bad."

Ryan nodded, she was right. He couldn't help but feel proud of himself for facing Chase and telling him how he felt -- his therapist would be really happy.

"This could have been avoided." Ryan pointed out, returning to his earlier thoughts. Now that people had found Lydia's page, the gossip mill would turn so fast -- he knew he needed to tell his story. And he was ready. "I need to set the record straight, I need to tell my story. I'm going to call Kim."

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