thirty-two

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Lydia stood in the middle of the empty room, her eyes closed.

They had finally unpacked all of their furniture and belongings, the house felt like home now.

But there was this empty room haunting her, taunting her.

Ryan had suggested that they turn it into an office, a quiet place for her to work at home. But they both knew what they really wanted it to be, neither had the guts to say it out loud.

Lydia's hand lifted to her stomach. In a perfect world, there would be a rounded bump starting to grow -- frustrating Lydia when none of her suits fit the way they should anymore.

But this wasn't a perfect world.

Life had moved on, the heartbeat had been still longer than it had ever beaten in her womb. But she found herself getting caught up in what they should be doing now.

They should be picking out nursery furniture, picking out tiny clothes. By now, they'd know if they were having a boy or a girl.

They might even have a name picked out by now.

With Caroline, the name had popped into her head when she laid eyes on her. It had been easy. But she had been the only one who had to have an opinion. She had no idea what kind of names Ryan liked but she would give anything to be bickering over names with him.

Lydia couldn't help but mourn what could have been, what should have been.

The baby had been a surprise, a by-product of their carelessness when it came to birth control. Before she found out she was pregnant, she had been content with just Caroline.

But now, she found herself yearning for another.

She wanted to bring it up to Ryan, to tell him that she was ready to try again for another but every time she found the courage, she stopped herself. She could still see the pain in his eyes but she knew that he would go along with anything to make her happy -- even if it meant stuffing his pain down.

So she was waiting for him to bring it up, let it be his idea. But that didn't really do much for the ache in her chest, in her empty womb.

A pair of arms wrapped around her, startling her from her thoughts. She hadn't even heard him come into the room.

"Hey." She murmured, leaning back into him.

"Hey." He whispered back. "What are you doing?"

She shrugged. "Just trying to figure out what we should do with the room. Feels weird to leave it empty but I don't want to turn it into an office." The last part came out as a whisper and Lydia held in her breath as she waited for his response.

"This would be a pretty good nursery, wouldn't it?" Ryan wondered out loud before shifting nervously. "What do you say about trying for another baby? I know it's kind of soon but the doctor did say we could try again whenever we're ready."

Relief washed over Lydia that Ryan was suggesting it. But she still turned to him, trying to get a read on him. "Are you sure you're ready?"

Pretty Amazing Grace {Ryan Blaney || Sequel to Sweet Caroline} ✔️Where stories live. Discover now