new, spectacular,

you're bad

A whole weekend. A literal whole weekend passed by and I hadn't spoken a word to my dad. But to be fair, I really didn't see him either. When I came home on Friday he wasn't there , but i was too tired to stay up and wait. And through the next two days of Saturday and Sunday he was either out at work, or I was. I didn't like the feeling of my dad and I fighting anymore. It's that gut wrenching feeling of not butterflies, but knives. Like as much as I think everything is alright...it's not. 

"I would just find time in which he's home at the same time you are, and just apologize" Carmen said as leaned up against the wall of our usual spot in the morning. "Why should I be the one to apologize?" I questioned having a false tone of hurt with my response. "Oh shut up, I know papa Lawkland is never in the wrong" Carmen says which I chuckle in response due to the signature nickname. I thought back to the night Carmen stayed the night at my house back in freshman year. We were up around 1 am and my dad had just arrived home, and we think due to her sleep deprivation she called him "papa Lawkland" as he walked into the living room to greet us. "God I wish it was like old times and I didn't have to work!" I say complaining and tilting my head up to the ceiling. "Yeah, we would be able to have sleep overs almost every night" Carmen added with a slight smile. "By the way speaking of work, did you Jisung there on Saturday or Sunday?" she asked which reminded me that his sweatshirt was in my bag. "No, so I've had to hold on to it all weekend" I say complaining once again. 

As the bell rang Carmen and I exchanged good byes right before I entered my 1st class. Surprisingly Jisung was actually here today, considering he literally missed all of last week. He was sitting at his regular seat at the corner of the class, just on his phone while relaxing back in his seat. As I approached his head turned to me and I saw a slight smile on his face. "If it isn't Kaya Lawkland" Jisung says which I scoff to his greeting. "What's with the formalities dimwit?" I reply as I took my seat and placed my bag on the desk. "Can't I just greet you without getting attitude?" he says turing his body in his seat towards me. "That depends... will it be a stupid greeting?" I question him back which he chuckles and pokes his tongue toward his cheek in an arrogant way. "Anyways here's your sweatshirt" I say taking it out my bag and holding it out for him. He glanced at the mustard yellow clothing and back at me before shaking his head. "What? Take the damn sweatshirt, you left it with me all weekend" I say shaking it bit with as my words came out my mouth. "Nah I'm okay, what if you get cold again?" he proposes while still making eye contact with me. "Then I'll wear my own jacket"I reply challenging him in the eye contact game. "Keep it" he replies quickly which I defy with "take it". This went on for about a minute before Diana butted in the argument with "can I wear it?". We both turned to look at the ombre haired girl, in a tank top and ripped jeans. I looked back at Jisung which he smirked snatching the sweatshirt from my hands. "Yeah sure" he replies to Diana which she smiled to extreme amount as she grabbed the sweatshirt. I paused for a second with my mouth slightly opened. "So you just give your sweatshirt out to every girl?" I ask him which he looks away towards the front of the class as the teacher was about to introduce the lesson. "Why do you care? Are you jealous?" he asked turning back to me while wiggling his eyebrows which I throw my hand up as if I was about to give him a second bruise on his face. This boy. I'm not jealous,,, right? 

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Getting off the bus I could already feel my heart in my stomach. What if my dad is home? What do I say? How do I apologize?  As my thoughts clouded my mind, it seemed like the usual walk to the apartment got shorter. I entered the pass code of the building before entering and making my way to the elevator. Maybe he's not home. When I entered the apartment I knew he was home. The lights in the kitchen were on and I could faintly hear the tv on in the living room. I immediately walked into my room and put my bag down by my desk. I knew he was in the kitchen, but for some reason my legs didn't feel like moving. I took a glance at myself in the mirror as I almost tried intimidating my reflection into talking to my dad.