Revealing the Wolf's Way: Book 1

Chapter 7 (Totit)- Love is Gone?

April 14th, 2032
Los Angeles, California

Totit stayed laying in bed even after the alarm went off. The sun was starting to rise and she had to be at the Los Angeles Zoo soon. Months ago, she was the first to start and try a new program offered through her Primatology degree where she could take care of, study, and interact with Chimps and Bonobos. Laying in bed, she could not stop thinking about Seth's messages to her. She did not dare open them out of fear of what they would say. It had been a really long time since he lay reached out to her, and it did not go so well. They had both let so many things get in the way of their relationship and their love for one another. She just wanted it to be over with and move on. But she could not, and feared that neither could he. Last she deleted and permanently stage erased all that he sent her, and she instantly regretted it. She thought about calling him and decided against it.

Now, laying there in bed with the sun light creeping through her window, she thought about calling him again. And actually did it. Hey heart starting fluttering at hearing his voice after so long. She did not know what to say to him. Pretend to not the messages, or tell him the truth. Fortunately, and unfortunately, the call never rang and said that number was out of service. She checked his number, called again, and got the same response, out of service. No ringing. No voicemail. Nothing. She tried texting and the same result. The text was not being delivered. Then she tried e-mailing him and strangely enough, the e-mail was not going through either. She had not spoken him in a while to know if this was the norm for him but she just figured maybe he was away and was having some technical difficulties. Or maybe something had happened.

There had to be a good reason why he reached out to her. Now she was kicking herself in not reading his messages. Totit thought about contacting Michael, Seth's Godfather, to see what is going on. Since things were left badly between Micheal and her, she dismissed that idea. Things with Michael had been left even worse with how they were with Seth. In part, it was primarily how Michael treated her that made her grow distant from Seth. Even though it was no one's fault really. Well, maybe. She kept a secret really good Seth but Michael had stumbled upon it. He treated her horribly because of this secret. No one was perfect but but she really tried her best to over come the issue she had before meeting Seth. She did not want to burden him with it. She had hoped to gain Micheal's understanding and trust once he found out. Instead he forced her to push Seth away and use their education and careers as an excuse. She still has feelings for Seth, but did she still love him? She had no idea. She was afraid to find. Afraid to find out if Michael ever told Seth her secret. Afraid to find out if he fell out of love with her. Afraid of finally confronting him about everything and having to tell him the truth. Maybe the love is gone?

Eventually she would figure out what was going on with Seth and how she felt, but she had to her ready to go to the Zoo. Getting ready put her into a better mood. Especially that she was looking forward to spending some time with the primates she has been taking care of. She has gotten especially close with one of the Bonobos. His name was Pan and a relatively young ape by their standards. And he was so very smart. He was one of the first Bonobos of his group to learn American Sign Language. Totit really enjoyed spending time with him, more so then most people.

When she eventually got there, she was surprisingly greeted by one of the new managers, Johnathan Barrett.

"Good morning Totit, there is a new volunteer starting today. I want you to show to him the ropes and get him acquainted with our primates. After you are done today, come see me. I have a surprise for you!"

"Sure thing John, who will I be training today?"

"Augustus Jackson. He is from the South but has been going to school here in LA for some time. He wanted to get some extra experience so he asked to come help. He specifically requested to come work here, with us. I thought it was strange, but who am I to judge?" John finished shrugging and putting his hands up. While walking away, he concluded, "See you later today!", and winked.

Totit rolled her eyes at John's occasional and awkward flirting, but could not help it on desiring such an attraction. It had been a while since Seth, and she just could not be with anyone else. Her excuse was that she was too busy with her school work and being at the Zoo. The real reason of course was that she was still hung over Seth. But it was different with John. Even though he was white and came from a very white family, possibly WASPs, he still had a very attractive quality about him. His family surely were big shots; his father or uncle was a senator and he had other family members in other high places. Maybe it was the charisma he rarely showed. Or maybe it was the way he treated and cared for the primates and apes. Ultimately, it came down to that, how he treated our closest animal relatives. He was so gentle and kind to them, treating them better then a pet, and even family. Totit would even admit that it was borderline obsessive. Interestingly, she did not seem too bothered by that.

Totit went over to meet with the volunteer, Augustus. He was a tall lean man with some similar qualities to John. He appeared a bit older then all of them, even Seth.

"Good morning! You must be Totit Lee! I am Augustus Jackson! But you can call me Gus, almost everyone does!"

He had a thick Southern accent that Totit automatically fell in love with. It took her a moment to recover from her swooning to see that he was staring with his hand outstretched.

"Good morning Gus, and welcome! Sorry about that!" She said shaking his hand.

"No worry miss, not at all! Happens all the time! Girls, and even some guys, fall for me just listening to my voice! I have that affect on people so I am use to it!"

Now she found this guy so attractive and she started hating herself even more now. She shook such thoughts from her. She had to try to get over Seth. Time to move on. But why was it so hard?

"I am glad that you can come help us Gus! We definitely have needed an extra hand around here!"

"Definitely! Anything to help out the Zoo! An aunt use to work here back in the day so I am no stranger to this place! Plus, I kind of need the experience towards my degree so that I can complete it!" Gus beamed.

"Same here!" Totit excitedly asked, "What is are you majoring in?"

"My major is in a specialized field for anthropology but with an unofficial minor in zoology. I am so close to being done. I just want get some hands on work with animals, especially with the primates!"

"Then you have come to the right place! We have at least one member from the great apes but we mostly house chimps and bonobos!"

"Sounds good to me! Let's get started!"

"Right this way!" Totit commanded.

When Gus fell in line next to her, she could smell his cologne. She shivered at the thought of him next to her. After a few minutes of guiding him, she suddenly realized that she recognized the scent of the cologne. It was exact, or at least similar to, Seth's cologne. Once her brain got the connection, she felt a pang of guilt, and then regret. She thought how stupid it was for her to get rid of Seth's messages like that. Totit was still worried and hoped that everything was okay.