the anatomy of love [BxB] COMPLETED

6

He can't focus during his Thursday Econ class, though he never really could. But today, the number of times Jackson caught himself lost in thought was higher than usual.

He had a good reason. Or did he? Lately he's been questioning everything.

Theo didn't show up for Tuesday practice. Coach said he got sick, but Jackson doesn't buy it. Yesterday's practice Theo appeared late, averting eye contact with everyone, especially Jackson. Jackson didn't care; Theo practiced better than he had all season. Still. Theo drained him more than he'd like to admit, and his fight with Caleb and Lauren kept lingering in the back of his mind.

Hunter notices, and halfway through class a note slides onto his keyboard. He picks it up and reads the scrawled handwriting.

Jackson glances at Hunter. "Really?"

"Goddamn, you're in a mood. Just answer the note." Hunter sounds irritated, but his mischievous smile suggests otherwise.

Jackson looks at the note again with a sigh. It reads: Gay? Yes or No.

So childish, yet Jackson can't stop a small smile from creeping across his face. He takes a pen and circles the Yes, then hands the note back. It feels like a middle school experience he never got to have and he loves everything about it, despite all the shit happening this week. Hunter looks it over, nods, then scribbles something below and drops it on Jackson's lap, accidentally fluttering on top of his crotch. Jackson appreciates the foreshadowing.

10 PM Friday @ Azure?

Just like it always does when the stars align exactly how he wants, Jackson's pulse picks up like a river rushing down a stream, and he writes his response.

Don't be late.

☆★☆

Jackson's thoughts swirl like the water flowing down the drain of his shower. He massages his scalp, more to work the headache away that he's had since his night out with Theo than to clean his hair. At least tonight he's going clubbing. He hasn't gone in a while, but Azure has been mentioned by Tumblr—and he trusts Hunter's taste in anything gay—so he's confident in an exhilarating end to his Friday.

Usually Jackson feels confident and relaxed before a fun night. But today? Jackson's chest tightens and his mind constantly circles Caleb and Lauren's words. He wants his friends to support him, more than he thought he did, and that scares him. It makes him wonder if he's a bad person. Does it make him a bad person if his actions reflect his desires?

For a moment, Jackson's afraid of the answer. Then he thinks, so what? So what if it makes him a bad person to want a guy in his bed to warm some nights, to have fun with hot, interesting people and take his mind off all the stress of his day to day life?

In a burst of rebellious determination, Jackson gets out of the shower, dries off in a rush, and rummages through his closet for something so outrageously gay that no one—not even that blue haired bitch—can doubt what he wants.

When Jackson finishes dressing, he looks in the mirror. Leather pants. Cropped floral print shirt. Black Converse high tops. There's something missing. He runs a hand through his hair, messing up the waves, then walks purposefully back to the bathroom and opens Lauren's drawer filled with makeup. With a steady hand, Jackson applies eyeliner to the upper and lower lids. When he sees his reflection, Jackson stops and stares. There's a wild hunger in his eyes that he hasn't seen since his first time with a boy. After a shaky swallow, he decides not to overthink and heads out of the bathroom and towards the door of the apartment.

As he's reaching for the handle, the door swings open, and Caleb walks in. When he sees Jackson, Caleb's face flattens. He has his yarmulke on, so Jackson assumes he just got back from Shabbat with the Jewish Club. Usually that puts Caleb in a good mood, but apparently Jackson's mere presence cancels that all out.