𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢, 𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘥𝘺 - 𝙂𝙧𝙚𝙮'𝙨 𝘼𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙢𝙮 (ON HOLD)

thirty-one - "anatomy jane" - thirty-one

"Surgeons are all messed up. We're butchers, messed up knife happy butchers. We cut people up, we move on. Patients die on our watch, we move on. We cause trauma, we suffer trauma. We don't have time to worry about all the blood and death and crap it really makes us feel. Doesn't matter how tough we are, trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home. It changes our lives. Trauma messes everybody up, but maybe that's the point. All the pain and the fear and the crap. Maybe going through all of that is what keeps us moving forward. It's what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up before we can step up."
-Alex Karev, S5E19, "Elevator Love Letter"

"Defeat isn't an option. Not for surgeons. We don't back away from the table 'til the last breath's long gone. Terminal's a challenge, life threatening's what gets us out of bed in the morning. We're not easily intimidated, we don't flinch, we don't back down, and we certainly don't surrender, not at work anyway. To do our jobs, we have to believe defeat is not an option, that no matter how sick our patients get, there's hope for them. But even when our hopes give way to reality, and we finally have to surrender to the truth, it just means we've lost today's battle, not tomorrow's war. Here's the thing about surrender: once you do it, actually give in, you forget why you were fighting in the first place."
-Meredith Grey, S5E20, "Sweet Surrender"

"Remember when we were little and we would accidentally bite a kid on the playground. Our teachers would go, “Say you’re sorry”, and we would say it, but we wouldn’t mean it because the stupid kid we bit, totally deserved it. But as we get older, making amends isn’t so simple. After the playground days are over you can’t just say it, you have to mean it. Of course when you become a doctor, sorry is not a happy word. It either means you’re dying and I can’t help. Or it means this is really going to hurt. As doctors we can’t undo our mistakes, and we rarely forgive ourselves for them, but it’s a hazard of the trade. But as human beings we can always try to do better, to be better, to right a wrong even if it feels irreversible. Of course, “I’m sorry” doesn’t always cut it. Maybe because we use it so many different ways: as a weapon, as an excuse. But when we are really sorry. When we use it right. When we mean it. When our actions say what words never can. When we get it right, “I’m sorry” is perfect. When we get it right, “I’m sorry” is redemption."
-Meredith Grey, S5E21, "No Good at Saying Sorry (One More Chance)"

"Izzie's been admitted. She made Alex bring her birthday gift for you." Meredith smiled at Anna, as the entered Seattle Grace, and headed to the elevators.

Derek was coming later. He's the one doing Izzie's surgery. He wanted to look over her case, shower, and prepare before coming back to work.

"Anna!" Lexie greeted her with a side hug as she exited the elevator, "Happy late birthday. I got you something. It's in my locker."

"You didn't have to do that." Anna returned the hug, smiling gratefully.

"I figured you needed it considering the last few days, but you're back. And Dr. Shepherd's coming back." Lexie nodded, "Everything's gonna be okay. Everything will be okay. I'm speaking it out into the universe."

George, Alex, Cristina, and Dr. Webber all gave Anna their birthday wishes as well as a few cards. Meredith stood around with the residents and interns as Dr. Bailey arrived. She greeted them before spotting Anna. She walked straight up to her, with her arms out, before embracing her.

"Oh. Uh. Thanks." Anna was shocked that Bailey was hugging her.

"You poor child." Dr. Bailey released her, noticed all the staring, and her frown deepened.

"You three. Okay. I understand why you're here. I know you wanna help. But I will be the resident on her case today. I will be preping her for surgery. And if you are going into that hospital room today, you'll do so as her friends. Izzie needs her people around her. She needs you to tell her everything will be fine. She needs you to hold her hands. She needs you. Not more doctors? Understood? Great. Let's get started."